Entrustment to Mary = Living by Faith

For the year of faith, it was suggested we meditate on the Nicene Creed. In the Creed it says: 

“…He ascended into heaven

and is seated at the right hand of the Father.”

If you pray the rosary regularly, then you have had your share of reflecting and meditating on the Glorious Mystery “The Ascension.”  It has always been one of those mysteries that doesn’t stir me too much – I often wonder why it is considered “Glorious” as it seems to be when Christ left us.

Today, however, I had a new awareness: the realization of just how important “faith” must be in my life. It is so critical, that Jesus ascended into Heaven and did leave us behind – He left us so that we could only believe in and through FAITH. If faith wasn’t required for the journey, then He’d be here where we could see Him – and I’m not talking about in the form of the Holy Eucharist!  So, if faith is as critical as I believe, then I have to truly spend time working on my faith-life. It is not something to take for granted. Of course, that is what the Church in her wisdom understands, and why we have the current Year of Faith.

A priest recently shared in a conference that too often people view the foundation of their faith like the foundation of a house. You build the foundation, then you leave it alone. You seldom think about the foundation of your house. Years can go by, and it doesn’t even cross your mind that it is supporting the house – unless something drastic happens, life a crack in the foundation, or a sink hole below it. This priest said that in the spiritual life, the foundation of faith is not something we can ignore and leave unattended for years. He said it is the basis for everything we do in the spiritual life and we have to always go back to it – day in and day out. It has to be the basis for every activity we endeavor.

Over the last three years, I had some cracks in my “foundation.” I started deceiving [1] myself in the spiritual life and was beginning to allow excuses for not meditating, not going to regular confession, and not attending daily Mass. I was allowing the worldly routines to influence me. However, when I began to notice this situation, WE (Blessed Mother and I) went back to the foundation of my faith. Together, She gave me the light to see something deeper – She helped me to see that when I was doing those spiritual practices, I was doing them because of grace! That’s right – it wasn’t that I had found the secrets to holiness…oh no! It was that Blessed Mother had obtained for me the graces to hunger for God. I, in response to those beautiful graces, got full…of my pride! I took credit for the grace. I no longer saw faith as the gift it is, but saw it as mine, so I stopped asking for it.

In retrospect, the best thing that could have happened to me was this crumbling of my pride of accomplishment. It makes me now repeat often “Mary, I need you MORE!” “Mary, hunger in me and with me for prayer time…for confession…for Holy Eucharist!” Now, when WE do go to confession or Holy Mass, I can be amazed by that grace! My daily experience becomes full of awe with what Mary and I accomplish. On my own I do not choose to live by faith…but with Mary…WE do! Praise be to Our Lord, Jesus Christ!

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[1]  “Prayer is both a gift of grace and a determined response on our part. It always presupposes effort. The great figures of prayer of the Old Covenant before Christ, as well as the Mother of God, the saints, and he himself, all teach us this: prayer is a battle. Against whom? Against ourselves and against the wiles of the tempter who does all he can to turn man away from prayer, away from union with God. We pray as we live, because we live as we pray. If we do not want to act habitually according to the Spirit of Christ, neither can we pray habitually in his name. The ‘spiritual battle’ of the Christian’s new life is inseparable from the battle of prayer. (2612, 409, 2015)” CCC 2725

Entrustment to Mary = Growing in Contrition

When I was 14 I had a birthday party with all my girl classmates. We were playing one of those steal-the-gift games and it was timed, so that when the timer would go off we got to keep whatever gift we had at the moment. There were lots of things to choose from, but a battle was waged over a pack of cool stickers. There were 3 of us fighting over it. I had a chance to steal the stickers, and then in utter greed and coveting, I secretly took the timer and pushed it forward so that it buzzed while I was holding the prized possession.

Two years later, I was going through my sticker book and found the evidence. I was horrified by my actions – how could I have been such a thief? I remember shedding tears of what I thought was contrition. I wanted to make amends, so I got an envelope and put all the stickers remaining, plus a few of my prized favorite stickers, and anonymously mailed them to the person who had them before me at the birthday party. I think I went to confession too…although, to be honest, I can’t remember if I did.

Now, let’s fast forward 15 years. By then I had found the spirituality of communion of life with Mary and was being formed in it by mentors. One day I was sharing my story of contrition with someone who was deep in the spirituality. I think I was somewhat proud of how I had “made amends” when I was a teenager. The mentor, loving me as a fellow Christian, and looking at it all through the eyes of faith, was able to help me see that when I thought I was “making amends,” I was really just scrubbing the outside of my whitewashed tomb[1]. I was trying to cover up my pride. I wasn’t really contrite at all back then – I wasn’t sad that I offended Christ; I shed tears because my ego was wounded.

What an eye opener that was! My Christian friend didn’t stop at helping me see this deeper truth, he made sure I was also aware that this is who God loves! He loved the little girl who was selfish, and prideful! Blessed Mother, through my mentor, wanted to convince me first and foremost of God’s love and his mercy. It became a joyful time to go to confession soon after to have my Lord wash a portion of the inside of my tomb!

Reflecting on this story today – another 10 years has gone by – I am left in awe that the LORD planted that story in my heart to bring up to the right person, who could help me see the real truth. I see now how Jesus had to wait until I was aware of Blessed Mother’s arms before revealing it to me because only then could I hear it without despairing, or running away from him.[2] So, now, I am filled with gratitude, that Blessed Mother is sharing her faith with me, her acceptance of God’s mercy with me, her desire for my communion of life with Christ with me.  This is amazing!

I am very excited that the Holy Father has proclaimed the Year of Faith. I have learned over the years that there is always something more to know about my faith. What new things does God have in store for me during this special time in the Church? WE, Blessed Mama and I, await the graces together!!

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[1] Cf. Mt 23:7

[2] “In [Mary’s] arms…you may experience peacefulness and even happiness when God reveals the contents of your whitewashed tomb to you in a fuller light.” (S.C. Biela, Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock [Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005],29)