“We obtain from God exactly what we await from him.” [1]
This quote from St. Therese of Lisieux has had
me reflecting on what I await from God?
I can imagine what I “should” await from Him,
and that is goodness, love, mercy, hope, peace, joy, and miracles. But
reverting to my old ways of thinking I see I mistakenly await justice,
punishment, negative consequences, doom, and gloom. Because I am not perfect I
figure I do not deserve good things to happen. Because I cannot give God a
statement of good works, desires, deeds, I figure I have not earned His special
bestowals. Even though I have experienced event after event to prove this
theory wrong, I still get stuck in its mixed up rationale.
For example, with my daughter’s high risk
pregnancy I don’t believe that we deserve the miracle of God keeping the baby
safe in the womb until she is full term. Nor do I completely trust in God’s
care of her if she were to be born prematurely. Although I want to, my stupid
way of thinking goes back to me not deserving such special graces for I see how
quick I am to deny God’s omnipotence, so why would He want to help such an
unbeliever!
I have been told that the spirituality of
communion of life with Christ through the Blessed Mother is the path of imperfection.
This road of imperfection sounds good to me as I see daily how I never will be
perfect. I see how lost I would be without my entrustment to Blessed Mom to
rescue me from my old behaviors and thought patterns which I return to in a
vicious cycle.
Jesus said he did not come for the healthy but
for the sick, and that He wishes to be my Divine Physician. Only with Blessed
Mom will I learn to believe this truth. Only with Her will WE shed my desires
for perfection and become satisfied in being loved, forgiven, and accepted as a
wayward soul.
On the road of imperfection, I may never
be able to admit my nothingness as I am called to do. Therefore, I entrust
myself each and every day to my Blessed Mom. Through my entrustment, WE can
await everything from God, and in doing so, obtain everything from Him as well.
WE then can joyfully await a beautiful baby girl knowing that God will take
care of her and her mom, giving them all that they will need according to His divine plan.
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