Entrustment To Mary = What To Await From God

“We obtain from God exactly what we await from him.” [1]

This quote from St. Therese of Lisieux has had me reflecting on what I await from God?

 

I can imagine what I “should” await from Him, and that is goodness, love, mercy, hope, peace, joy, and miracles. But reverting to my old ways of thinking I see I mistakenly await justice, punishment, negative consequences, doom, and gloom. Because I am not perfect I figure I do not deserve good things to happen. Because I cannot give God a statement of good works, desires, deeds, I figure I have not earned His special bestowals. Even though I have experienced event after event to prove this theory wrong, I still get stuck in its mixed up rationale.

 

For example, with my daughter’s high risk pregnancy I don’t believe that we deserve the miracle of God keeping the baby safe in the womb until she is full term. Nor do I completely trust in God’s care of her if she were to be born prematurely. Although I want to, my stupid way of thinking goes back to me not deserving such special graces for I see how quick I am to deny God’s omnipotence, so why would He want to help such an unbeliever!

 

I have been told that the spirituality of communion of life with Christ through the Blessed Mother is the path of imperfection. This road of imperfection sounds good to me as I see daily how I never will be perfect. I see how lost I would be without my entrustment to Blessed Mom to rescue me from my old behaviors and thought patterns which I return to in a vicious cycle.

 

Jesus said he did not come for the healthy but for the sick, and that He wishes to be my Divine Physician. Only with Blessed Mom will I learn to believe this truth. Only with Her will WE shed my desires for perfection and become satisfied in being loved, forgiven, and accepted as a wayward soul.

 

On the road of imperfection, I may never be able to admit my nothingness as I am called to do. Therefore, I entrust myself each and every day to my Blessed Mom. Through my entrustment, WE can await everything from God, and in doing so, obtain everything from Him as well. WE then can joyfully await a beautiful baby girl knowing that God will take care of her and her mom, giving them all that they will need according to His divine plan.

 

 

 [1] S.C. Biela, TheTwo Pillars, (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2006), 70.

 

 

Entrustment to Mary = Finding "Joy" in My Weakness

This week’s life events’ theme:  We (by this “we” I mean I and many of my friends) are trained to despise weakness. We parent to follow rules out of duty rather than out of love. We live to please fellow humans while learning to despise God. And then, we are taught to avoid this truth at all costs!

Sound negative? That’s what people tell me. I am told I focus too much on my sinfulness and weakness. But, if that truly were the case, I wouldn’t call myself “High Hopes!”

You see, WE (by this “WE” I mean I and Blessed Mother) can very willingly look at the truth about myself:

·  I despise weakness.

· I taught my kids to obey in order not to disappoint me, rather than because it is a way to love Christ.

· I choose not to say something to a friend about something he is doing against the Lord, to keep the friendship, while sacrificing the graces I could have received for being persecuted in the name of my Lord….or worse yet, the graces my friend could have received to know the Truth.

But, thanks to communion of life with Christ through Mary, WE follow each revelation with the prayer: 

“I have only my sins,

but You love me Lord –

thank You.”¹

I know that it is a miracle that I am able to say this prayer. It took years of spiritual direction, spiritual reading, meditation, regular confession, and daily Eucharist for this slow poke to begin desiring that this prayer be my response. There is no way I could have trusted its truth without being reminded to be faithful in small things² time, after time, after time. And, I still continue to need this same advice! But now, I am beginning to listen to the message that WE need to rejoice when I see my misery! This is a whole new way to live from how I was raised. There really is joy being immersed in the truth about my misery and how it calls upon the abyss of God's merciful love! Thank goodness Blessed Mother is not intimidated by these “deep waters.” She reminds me, I was never meant to swim alone.

St. Thérèse of the Child Jesus tried especially to take advantage of various situations in order to lower herself before God. She said that she wanted “to remain a little child before God.” But according to her, to be a small child meant “to recognize our nothingness, to [await] everything from God…it is not to become discouraged over one’s faults, for children fall often, but they are too little to hurt themselves very much.”²² It is possible to imagine that, on the shore itself, St. Thérèse immediately assumed the spiritual “position of a swimmer.” She did not wait until the water became deep; she lowered herself into the shallow water of tiny failures and swam rather than wading with her feet on the bottom. That way of moving is safer and faster. Furthermore, it is unimportant how deep the water might be beneath us. Even when we are far from shore, we remain safe because we do not rely on the sense of support that the bottom gives us. When we are far from the shore, we allow the water to carry us. This happens, however, under the condition that we deeply humble ourselves and trust in the power of God’s action. (S.C. Biela, The Two Pillars, (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2006),58)

¹ S.C. Biela, In The Arms of Mary, 2nd. ed, rev. (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005), 10.

²“Faithfulness in small things” when used in this paragraph means faithfully trying to obey my spiritual direction to remember to be grateful that I am loved as I am, with all the truth about me. It is a small thing, but can have amazing results!

Entrustment to Mary = Not A Magic Potion

Having written 6 blog posts now and shared how my entrustment to Mary has helped with my sugar addiction, doing chores, surviving the empty nest, having no expectations, seeing God’s unconditional love, and being not afraid, I felt like it was time to come clean. I feel like I need to clarify the fact that my entrustment to Mary has not been a magical potion that has cured me from all of my physical, spiritual, and emotional ills. BUT - that is not Mary’s fault, nor the fault of God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. It is my skewed ego, pride, and
conceit that has me continuously returning to living as if all of the Heavenly beings did not exist, with me trying to live on my own without surrendering to God’s grace.

Before coming to know the spirituality of living in Communion with Christ through the Blessed Mother, I was striving to be PERFECT, and believed once I reached perfection, I would then earn God’s love and the right to be in Heaven - my skewed ego. I have a hard time standing in the truth of “who” I am - a sinner - who will never get over all my weaknesses - my pride. I can’t believe I can be loved without being perfect in thought, mind, and deed – my conceit. But in reality, GOD LOVES ME AS I AM and has given me His Mother, and She carries me in her arms and that is all I need. Although, in my twisted mind I always seem to think I need to be in control of this beautiful truth.

“St. Thérèse of Lisieux briefly said that one has to be like a child and not worry about anything. This one statement contains the whole program of our life: to abandon ourselves to the Lord, that is, not to care about anything because he loves us and takes care of everything. Only then will true peace begin to penetrate our souls and our hearts.” [1]

Surrendering is hard for me. Writing the prior blog posts has helped me see the different areas of my life that I do not want to totally surrender to God and to Blessed Mom. Yet holding on to my addictions, fears, and weaknesses only brings me stress, disappointment, and sadness. I have seen how God’s love can free me. I have felt God’s grace that brings peace and happiness. But why won’t I give up the helm and acknowledge: GOD IS IN CHARGE - I DO NOT NEED TO BE PERFECT TO BE LOVED – JESUS I TRUST IN YOU?

The book The Gift of Faith offers an answer for this, “It can be said that you sin because you are “old,” since being old in spirit closes you off from grace and ties God’s hands. God is young and wants to conjure up the moon for you. Was it not the moon for St. Thérèse of Lisieux when he gave her snow on the day she took her veil? God loves this kind of attitude, the kind that does not see limits, and this is the attitude of a child. He sees no limits on possibilities; he is persevering to the point of folly; he is open to that which is new – a child is able to believe.” [2]

So I need to become a child. Yet, I can only do so by standing in the truth and admitting that I cannot become a child on my own. Then I must beg for Blessed Mom to carry me to her Son who can bestow on me the grace to be open to surrendering my “old” self to Him.

Maybe becoming a child will open up my eyes of faith to realizing that my entrustment to Mary is "magical" for without it I would remain in the spirit of the old man which could ultimately lead to my eternal loss of Heaven.

           "The spirit of the old man - contrary to that of the evangelical child - wants to solve 
            problems by itself. And so it exposes itself to the temptations of Satan, it immerses 
            itself in the evil of this world and commits sin." [3]

[1]Tadeusz Dajczer, The Gift of Faith, 3rd. ed. (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2012), 42-43.

[2]Ibid, 66-67.

[3]  S.C. Biela, In The Arms of Mary, 2nd. ed, rev. (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005), 172