My husband and I attended Sunday Mass at the Cathedral
in Boise, Idaho a few weeks ago. A rather large, bald headed man came down the
aisle and sat right in front of us. He had a black suit coat on over casual
jeans. He seemed very agitated, looking around and moving side to side. At one
point he made a fist and pounded it against his other hand. I noticed he did
not pray the prayers with us. In my mind I began relating him to a possible
ISIS follower. I imagined he had a long machete concealed in his coat’s sleeve.
I wondered if he was there to cause terror and possibly cold blooded murder. I
looked over at my husband and he seemed to be thinking the same. He whispered
that he did not feel comfortable and that we should move. I told him I agreed
and that we should wait until we stood up for the Gospel reading before moving.
When it was time, my husband pointed to a pew across the aisle and a few rows
ahead from where we were sitting. I did not like the fact we moved ahead,
thinking the man then saw us moving away from him. I figured if he was a
terrorist, he would take offense to this action and would single us out during
a rampage. I also felt guilty for in our original pew, behind us was a mother
and two young girls. I felt that maybe we were supposed to stay there to be the
barrier between him and them. All of the ISIS terrorist news stories I had
watched in the past few weeks surfaced in my mind creating an image of what
this man could do to us, the congregation, and the priest. Needless to say I
was most distracted during the Mass. We noticed the man went up to receive
Communion. When we were ready to leave my husband suggested we go out a side
door. When we got to the crosswalk, we turned around to see the man right
behind us! We walked slowly across the street so he could get ahead of us and
we could quickly slip into our car where we felt safe and sound.
"You
look at the tabernacle, but do you believe that there, barely a few yards away
from you, is the One who holds your history and the history of the entire world
in His hands…the One on whom everything depends? In His presence you worry
about various problems and how to resolve them. When you kneel before the God
of impossible things and you worry about your problems, there is a kind of
falsehood in this type of prayerful attitude. You are acting as if you were God
and as if you yourself had to solve everything – you who are who is not." [1]
Upon
reflection of my actions that morning and reading this passage above, I
realized two things. One, during that event I depended more on my knowledge and
instruction from the world’s news shows, than depending and trusting on my Lord
and Savior. My omnipotent God was in the Church with me, yet I let my fear
overshadow my belief that He would protect all of us there. Second,
I had immediately accused this man of a life of crime just by his appearance.
My judgment showed my lack of charity for my neighbor. Instead of seeing Christ
in him, I chose to see Satan.
This
event is more proof of how I walk along the road of imperfection, and need my
Blessed Mother’s rescue. Only
with her may I look at my misery and not be ashamed. She
reminds me that Jesus came to save me through His death and resurrection.
Jesus trusts that He can reveal my weaknesses to me, knowing that I am held by His
mother and she will be my comfort. She will help me understand His merciful
love – a Love for me, as I am. She will also help me to see her Son in those around me, to look for Him in the events of my life, and to seek Him above all else.
Thank you Jesus, for giving me your mother before you died! You knew I would be lost without her. [cf. Jn 19:26-27]
[1] S.C. Biela, TheTwo Pillars, (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2006), 81.
No comments:
Post a Comment