Entrustment To Mary = My Rescue

My husband and I attended Sunday Mass at the Cathedral in Boise, Idaho a few weeks ago. A rather large, bald headed man came down the aisle and sat right in front of us. He had a black suit coat on over casual jeans. He seemed very agitated, looking around and moving side to side. At one point he made a fist and pounded it against his other hand. I noticed he did not pray the prayers with us. In my mind I began relating him to a possible ISIS follower. I imagined he had a long machete concealed in his coat’s sleeve. I wondered if he was there to cause terror and possibly cold blooded murder. I looked over at my husband and he seemed to be thinking the same. He whispered that he did not feel comfortable and that we should move. I told him I agreed and that we should wait until we stood up for the Gospel reading before moving. When it was time, my husband pointed to a pew across the aisle and a few rows ahead from where we were sitting. I did not like the fact we moved ahead, thinking the man then saw us moving away from him. I figured if he was a terrorist, he would take offense to this action and would single us out during a rampage. I also felt guilty for in our original pew, behind us was a mother and two young girls. I felt that maybe we were supposed to stay there to be the barrier between him and them. All of the ISIS terrorist news stories I had watched in the past few weeks surfaced in my mind creating an image of what this man could do to us, the congregation, and the priest. Needless to say I was most distracted during the Mass. We noticed the man went up to receive Communion. When we were ready to leave my husband suggested we go out a side door. When we got to the crosswalk, we turned around to see the man right behind us! We walked slowly across the street so he could get ahead of us and we could quickly slip into our car where we felt safe and sound.

 

 

 "You look at the tabernacle, but do you believe that there, barely a few yards away from you, is the One who holds your history and the history of the entire world in His hands…the One on whom everything depends? In His presence you worry about various problems and how to resolve them. When you kneel before the God of impossible things and you worry about your problems, there is a kind of falsehood in this type of prayerful attitude. You are acting as if you were God and as if you yourself had to solve everything – you who are who is not." [1]

 

Upon reflection of my actions that morning and reading this passage above, I realized two things. One, during that event I depended more on my knowledge and instruction from the world’s news shows, than depending and trusting on my Lord and Savior. My omnipotent God was in the Church with me, yet I let my fear overshadow my belief that He would protect all of us there. Second, I had immediately accused this man of a life of crime just by his appearance. My judgment showed my lack of charity for my neighbor. Instead of seeing Christ in him, I chose to see Satan.

 

This event is more proof of how I walk along the road of imperfection, and need my Blessed Mother’s rescue. Only with her may I look at my misery and not be ashamed. She reminds me that Jesus came to save me through His death and resurrection. Jesus trusts that He can reveal my weaknesses to me, knowing that I am held by His mother and she will be my comfort. She will help me understand His merciful love – a Love for me, as I am. She will also help me to see her Son in those around me, to look for Him in the events of my life, and to seek Him above all else.

Thank you Jesus, for giving me your mother before you died! You knew I would be lost without her. [cf. Jn 19:26-27]

 

[1] S.C. Biela, TheTwo Pillars, (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2006), 81.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Entrustment To Mary = Starting The New Year By Celebrating Our Blessed Mother

God has enlightened me this year into recognizing how special it is that our Catholic Church starts the New Year off celebrating the feast day of the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God … Mother of us all. It is a great reminder that she is our Mother and she indeed wants to take care of us!

 

For my family 2014 was a rollercoaster of emotions. To recap the past 6 months: we had my husband’s mother pass away, a granddaughter born, a daughter enter the convent, another daughter get married, pregnant, and served divorce papers all within 3 months -  and now is having a high risk pregnancy that could lead to a preterm delivery; my other daughter’s family received notice they have to move across the U.S. for her husband’s next work project; I strained my wrist in October and it still hasn’t healed;  and my husband officially retired at the end of the year.

 

The only way I am surviving this multitude of graces is through my entrustment to Blessed Mom, allowing her to carry me through my sadness, anger, and despair.

 

I have shared how my daughter entered the Dominican Sisters, Mary, Mother of the Eucharist Order. This chosen vocation is a beautiful grace, yet, I still grieve the loss of having her close-by and being able to talk to her whenever I want. Feeling the loss especially on Christmas Eve, I was pleasantly surprised on Christmas morning to see her on the cover photo for the Order’s Facebook page. It was a most special present, for which I thank Blessed Mom. I believe she understood my motherly sorrow and interceded for that consoling grace.

 

I have felt anger with the events surrounding my daughter’s marriage dissolution. I have been unjustly accused and demonized by her husband. Once again I have had to flee to my Blessed Mom’s arms for she is also understanding in these matters. We have received graces showing us the need for compassion for this young man who in our eyes is emotionally wounded. These graces have helped diffuse my anger and resentment toward his actions.

 

With the risk of my daughter having a preterm delivery I have had a feeling of despair. As a mother, I am overwhelmed with what she has had to face during the past few months, and this additional trial seems almost too much to endure. But again I think of how God does not give us anything we cannot handle, as long as we bear the burden with Him. So, I climb into my Blessed Mother’s arms and entrust the trial to her, and with her WE can ask God for His merciful rescue.

 

Blessed Mother is really a SUPER MOM, always ready to carry us to her Son, so we may be loved, rescued, and consoled. Celebrating her on January 1^st is a great way to remind myself how only through my entrustment to her will I be able to face the graces that lay ahead in this New Year!

 

“The heavenly Mother is continually ‘at the disposal’ of each of her children; she is disposed to help every time they call upon her." S.C. Biela, InThe Arms of Mary, 2nd. ed, rev. (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005),168.

 

 

“That Mary ‘carries us in her arms’ is an objective truth that does not depend on your faith. The words of Christ’s testament pronounced on the Cross are, in fact, an objective truth on the maternity of Mary in relation to all men. Her maternity does not depend on our recognition of it nor in our belief in her. Independently, whether or not you believe it, whether or not you remember it, you are ‘in the arms of Mary’." ibid, 171.

 

 



Entrustment to Mary = Rescued From My Pride Over Chips & Salsa

After acting so very childish tonight, I was amazed to read the following words:

Just as she did in the case of St. Juan Diego, the Blessed Mother places you too on her back and carries you through your life as someone defeated by your own pride.  While carrying you on her back, she unceasingly adores her Son, Jesus Christ, your Savior who constantly blessed both her and you whom she carries as her beloved child.  You should not forget why you are being carried:  you lost the fight; you could not manage on your own.  Without her you would have never advanced from the point of defeat. (S.C. Biela, The Two Pillars, [Ft. Collins, CO:  IAMF, 2006],  37).

I had been so very fed up with the at-the-drop-of-a-hat temper tantrums of my three year old that I threw one of my own.  These past few weeks with everyone back at school has worn me out, and it seems this introvert (Control Freak) has yet another strong willed child.  As soon as his third birthday hit, he forgot how to use his words and has replaced most conversation with full-blown screaming.  Not good in the car, not good at the dinner table, not good at bedtime, and at most other moments throughout the day.  So, when my husband so considerately offered to bring home dinner tonight, I texted our Chipotle order to him as he had requested.  As we unpacked our meal at the dining room table, I noticed he had forgotten the one item that I personally was looking forward to – the chips!  After the last few 100 degree days and nights, I had been looking forward to a cold diet coke and chips and salsa.  Needless to say, I overreacted with criticism and disappointment at his honest mistake and made a fool out of myself in front of my children.  So embarrassing to admit, but I actually left the house to go back to buy the chips myself.  Sad to say, but not quite the good example I had in mind to teach my kids about gratitude!

"The Blessed Virgin Mary, our Mother, prays for us continually, and helps those we entrust to her care" 
by Elizabeth Wang, T-01513-OL, © Radiant Light 2006, www.radiantlight.org.uk"  

While driving in my car, I felt so very frustrated.  I knew it really wasn’t about the chips.  I had been feeling so tired and unappreciated by everyone in my household and was throwing a little pity party for myself.

But - mostly I was frustrated by my pride.  My pride pushed me out the door to buy the chips and show my kids how unappreciative I was of their father’s generosity.  My pride was separating me from a family dinner.  My pride was feeding feelings of entitlement to some quiet time and yet, I couldn’t shake it.  I really didn’t even want the chips anymore, but I felt so lost I didn’t know where to turn.  It is like the quote above:  I was defeated by my own pride.  At that point, I was completely helpless and couldn’t advance without Blessed Mama.  I didn’t recognize her intervention until I reflected on that quote.  Because of her, I now see that I was able to come home with ice cream to celebrate her feast day of the Most Holy Name of the
Blessed Virgin Mary.  On her back, I was able to apologize to my husband.  I think she picked me up and placed me there.  I don’t think I was even able to climb up there…she had to do even that for me.  And I am so very, very grateful. 

I see how ridiculously weak I am, complaining about chips.  But God revealed to me once again my need to be rescued from my own pride, especially in the ordinary, everyday events, and sent in my Mother to help.  Thank you, God, for allowing me to see the truth about my weakness and how it calls upon the abyss of Your merciful Love.  

Entrustment To Mary = Not Limiting God's Graces

A year ago I was a bit down in the dumps at my job and one reason was due to being the only employee. I thought how it would have been enjoyable to work in an office with others. Watching the TV sitcom The Office helped increase the desire to have co-workers. I resolved myself to believing it would never happen in my life, as I figured my current job would be my only career. Little did I realize then, that a year later I would be hired into a new position that has me in a clinic connected to a hospital with plenty of employees and patients to share my day. I am totally amazed by God’s generous love which has brought me to this change in my life, and given me this gift of something I have longed to experience.

Because all of my children had graduated from High School and we had hosted my daughter’s wedding, I figured the visits from extended family were probably coming to an end. To my delight the following year my sister and her family stopped by our home on a trip they were making to a relative's wedding. I smiled to myself that God would prove to me how limited my thinking is when it comes to His big loving graces that He desires to bestow.

Just last week my daughter shared that she and her family, who now live out of the country, are thinking about coming to our home for Christmas. Again, I had to chuckle to myself on how closed I am to God’s ways which are incredible, for I presumed we would not see them this Christmas season.

This same closed attitude of mine relates to my entrustment to the Blessed Mother. I limit the graces that flow from this union because I am always thinking in human terms, and setting up defenses against hurt feelings. I presume events won’t occur so I won’t be disappointed, when in actuality, God is ready to bestow so many more spectacular graces if I would just be open to them.

An example of such an extraordinary grace is Holy Father Francis consecrating the world to the Immaculate Heart of Mary this Sunday, October 13th. For me, it is God using a world event to remind me how my entrustment to the Blessed Mother is exactly the path I need to take to make it through this world on my journey to Heaven. I look at this Consecration as affirmation of the spirituality of communion of life with Christ through Mary. And I see how I have not trusted in this gift I have been given. Jesus entrusted humanity [including me] to his mother from the Cross. Therefore, I should never doubt that Mary is my spiritual mother. I need to remember I am in her arms with her forming me as she guides me to her Son. I need to trust that she will help me to stop thinking in human ways as she leads me to being open to receiving God’s unimaginable graces. She is my rescue, just as she is the world’s rescue.

 

“When Jesus told His mother [Jn19:26]: ‘Woman, behold, your son’ it was as if He was telling her: My Mother, from this day on you will care for all people and you will ‘carry all of them in your arms’ as your children in the same way that you carried Me. And the words addressed to John: “Behold, your mother’ [Jn 19 :27] can be interpreted as: John, from today you have the special right to benefit from the privilege of being Mary’s child – this privilege consists of being ‘carried in the arms of My mother’ who is also your Mother.” S.C. Biela, In The Arms of Mary, 2nd. ed, rev. (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005), 170.

 

“That Mary ‘carries us in her arms’ is an objective truth that does not depend on your faith. The words of Christ’s testament pronounced on the Cross are, in fact, an objective truth on the maternity of Mary in relation to all men. Her maternity does not depend on our recognition of it nor in our belief in her. Independently, whether or not you believe it, whether or not you remember it, you are ‘in the arms of Mary’. The recognition and acceptance of this truth can become an opportunity to open oneself to God and to His mercy.” Ibid 171. 

 

Entrustment to Mary = Guiding my Little One to Find Rescue in Mary’s Arms

After a week at Vacation Bible School my Little One shared a fear of dying on the cross. I wasn't there to know what was presented to the kids, but the Little One would end our prayers in tears saying “I don’t want to die on the cross, Mommy.”  I shared with her that Jesus already died on the Cross for us because we wouldn't have been able to do so. I shared that we should be so happy and thankful to Jesus that He did this for us. We also talked about how special it will be when we die and have our “new eyes” that can finally see Mary and Jesus.

Last night the Little One woke me up at 3 a.m. It has become a regular occurrence, although unpredictable – 3 am, 1 am, 5 am.... The issue this time was a painful shoulder from a mosquito bite on top of her sunburn.  In trying to soothe the Little One, I started asking her to pray to Blessed Mother that She might accept the pain for her, so that it would stop hurting. There was a definite resistance to this prayer. The Little One preferred to repeatedly say “it hurts” and to want to take care of it by rubbing and scratching the mosquito bite and sunburn. (Hmmm, not much different than my lack of trust when I choose to complain rather than pray for relief from a headache, or ask Mary to be my patience with the kids or to hold me during an anxiety attack. What a gift to see this similarity in attitude…in the wee hours of the morning.) I kept encouraging the Little One to ask. Then she said to me “you say the words for me.”

This phrase struck me. It is what communion of life with Christ through Mary is really about. It reminded me that by asking Mary to pray for me, I am freeing my will for God’s action. I am allowing my locked door to be opened by the key of Love.

Through spiritual direction I have become convinced that Blessed Mother is ready and willing to cooperate with me if I allow Her to. She waits for my free will to be given to Her. When I give it to Her, miracles start to happen. It has taken faith and perseverance to believe that this is really true. When I experience my resistance, it is a reminder for me that I am so prideful! I usually am resistant because I fear not having my prayers answered the way I want them to be. In those times, I am not really giving my will over. Instead, I am holding on to my lack of trust that God loves me as I am.

Last night, when I was given the green light to intercede for my daughter, I realized I (on my own) was full of resistance. My resistance started because I was faced with the truth that it was my negligence that the Little One was suffering – I was the one who didn't do a good job with the sunscreen and I was the one who didn't put the bug spray on her. Even though I was the one who caused her suffering, I was faced with the darker truth that, even if I could, I wasn't willing to accept the consequential pain for her.

Fortunately, it didn't end on that note. I begged Blessed Mother to pray in me and for me, with contrition, for me and my Little One. Using me, Blessed Mother shared with the Little One (and me) that her (and my) experience with this little pain should make her (and me) so happy and thankful that Jesus already carried her (my) LARGE cross! Mary wanted both the Little One and me to realize how small we are and to remember how we never could have carried that heavy cross on our own.

This morning, the Little One came to me and said, “Mom, Mary took the pain from this shoulder, but not my other shoulder.” So, WE (Mary and I) reminded her to keep asking. Later, she came to me and said “Mary took away all the pain, Mommy!” So, we said together, “Thank you, Mommy Mary! Thank you, Jesus, that you already carried our Heavy Cross!” 

While dying on the Cross, the Savior confides His mother to John, and, at the same time, entrusts John and everyone for whom He was dying, to her who abandoned herself totally to God.39

Therefore, do not be terrified by your own weakness.

You yourself, with your own efforts, will never choose the way

of the Cross.

But in fact, the words of Christ’s testament

are a special gift for you.

You also are a child of the Mother of God –

you have a particular right to these words.

Therefore, why are you afraid?

Why do you want to carry your cross alone?

In fact, this is the precise cause of your torment!

In your stubbornness and pride, you want to carry your

cross by yourself.

But, in fact, you will not carry it alone.

Christ wants

you to ask Him for help from His mother.

(S.C. Biela, In The Arms of Mary, 2nd. ed, rev. (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005), 157.)

Entrustment to Mary = Jesus Came To Rescue Me

I grew up in a family that put up Christmas decorations during Advent, listened to Christmas music starting the day after Thanksgiving and turned it off the day after Christmas. I continued this tradition with my own family. I usually spend most of Advent worrying about what I haven’t done, instead of contemplating “Who” is to come. During the Christmas Mass I end up looking at the nativity scene realizing I did not think much about baby Jesus during the 4 weeks prior to His birth. I allow the world’s spin on what the holy day should be trump the suggestions of the Church. I get nostalgic listening to the carols with sadness deep inside me due to unfulfilled expectations of how I believe the Christmas season should have played out. Taking down the decorations usually has me mourning the season, believing it is over - when in actuality it is just beginning.

This year I finally visited with my spiritual director about the melancholy that arises inside every time I hear a Christmas song play. He helped me see that my inability to focus on Jesus during Advent is exactly why Jesus came for me - to rescue me from my skewed faith and my temptations to seek the world’s way. Jesus came for ME. This was something new to my ears. I had never personalized Jesus’ birth like this before. To think that God loves me so much as to send His Son to rescue me. WOW! All of a sudden Advent seemed more hopeful. It became a time of awaiting the Christmas Mass when Jesus would arrive for me.

My entrustment to Mary helped me in this awaiting. Reflecting on her life during Advent, helped me see how she trusted in God’s plan - keeping her focus on the Son to be born - while not contesting the awful conditions and trials that came her way. When I wanted to complain that I had too much to do in preparing for Christmas – her life brought to light that Jesus - not gifts/cookies/cards/decorations/etc. - is the reason for the season. I found comfort imagining how she carries me in her arms, just as she carried the infant Jesus.

It was a special Christmas this year. Every time I started to succumb to the sadness I would remember that Jesus was coming to rescue me and my spirits were lifted. Maybe some readers have felt the same, and can also join in this good news – that God has sent His Son to rescue you, too! Knowing this truth certainly brings peace and joy, and a blessed hope for the New Year to come!