Entrustment to Mary = Speaking Up About the Gift of Blessed Mama

Our parish women’s group offered a “Morning with Mary” last weekend.  A May crowning Mass, followed by brunch, a speaker, faith sharing and a living rosary.  I have been wanting to get to know more women from my parish and as you know, Mary is near and dear to my heart!  So, off I went to spend some time in prayer and fellowship. 

It was a blessed morning, and a lovely lady invited me to join her table (a big deal for someone shy like me).  The speaker did a wonderful job in sharing a more “real” and human Mary, a mother available to us all, rather than a distant and lifeless figure.  I very much appreciated the speaker’s thoughts, and many women were moved in seeing Her in a different light.  But I couldn’t help being so very grateful for being previously introduced to an ever more intimate relationship with our Blessed Mama. "To love Mary means to imitate her and follow her because she is the one who goes before us, the one who is an example of our faith." (Tadeusz Dajczer, The Gift of Faith, 3^rd ed. [Ft. Collins, CO:  IAMF, 2012], 116). 

But – this spirituality of living in communion with Christ through His Blessed Mother takes me even further.  She desires that I make room in my heart for only Christ and His will.  Because of my little faith, She carries me in Her arms to lead me more quickly to the love of God.  I am too weak to even imitate Her, but I ask that She live in me, with me and through me.   

The awareness that Mary ‘carries you in her arms’ will enable you to remain in God’s presence with unfaltering faith in His love.  This awareness does not suppose necessarily emotional experiences.  Perhaps in some stages of your interior life you may not feel anything at all, but, in spite of it, this awareness will constitute an essential element of your interior life.  …

However, when, by the will of God, Mary chooses someone as her special instrument, she shows him very clearly how little he is.  She shows him that he finds himself exalted only because she ‘carries him in her arms.’  And so, it is a special grace if you discover the maternal role of Mary in your life. 

Why do you receive this grace?

This is a mystery of God’s election.

But remember, the grace needs a committed response.

You do not receive a talent in order to bury it in the ground.

You must make use of it – in accordance with the will of God–

for your own sanctification and for the sanctification of others.

Because of this, implore Mary that your whole life

may be permeated by the awareness that you are ‘carried by her in her arms.’

(S.C. Biela, In the Arms of Mary, 2^nd ed. rev. [Ft. Collins, CO:  IAMF, 2005], 173).

And so, there I was listening in on the large group sharing and I felt like I needed to share what I knew.  At least a little glimpse.  Being so shy, I had to laugh with God and beg Blessed Mama to help me say something.  If I kept this good news to myself, I felt like I would be wounding the very Love that rescued me.  She helped me raise my hand and a microphone was handed over.  Very simply, She helped me share what a gift it was to know that Mary is more than someone to imitate.  She does carry me, Her weak, shy, little one, so that I will know how very much God loves me.

In discovering this unfathomable love

you will want to respond to Him,

and then you can reach full union with Christ.

                        This is the greatest grace which you can be bestowed with here on earth.

(S.C. Biela, In the Arms of Mary, 2^nd ed. rev. [Ft. Collins, CO:  IAMF, 2005], 179).

Entrustment to Mary = Rescued from Temper Tantrums

The other day my two-year-old was starting to get loud and fussy during Mass.  I took him out to the vestibule of the church, only for him to discover the holy water font.  Up on tiptoe, he reached inside the bowl, and right away he knew to touch his forehead with his wet fingers.  But, he wanted to continue – over and over and over.  I tried to distract him and then it was time for communion.  He protested loudly, clinging to the holy water bowl.  I started to get a bit nervous.  I didn’t want to take a screaming child inside the church, but at the same time, the line was almost ending, and I didn’t want to miss receiving.  I snatched him up and he started to kick his feet and flail his arms.  Oh, boy!  What to do?  I knew I needed the graces, so in I went and he calmed down just a bit.  As I approached the priest, he tried to squirm away, but thankfully allowed me to quietly carry him back to the vestibule.  As soon as I set him down, he dashed off to the holy water font, reaching up and smiling grandly, pleased with himself. 

It struck me right then how pleased I am with myself when I think I know what is best for me, but how clueless I really am when I push away from God’s loving presence and His holy will.  So many times God invites me to a closeness that I reject because I allow myself to be distracted by my own worldly desires for momentary pleasures.  I was reminded of a catchy phrase my old pastor reminded his congregation of:  “The main thing is to make the main thing the main thing.”   So many times I give Jesus the leftovers.  So many times I miss out on the main thing, because I cling to having control over what I  want in the moment, rather than seeking what God’s will is for me in the moment.  For example, during the summer my kids were in the habit of bickering quite a bit, driving their mother crazy.  Last night, I was sending them off to bed, looking forward to a moment of quiet, when there was a commotion and I was quick to discipline them to stop “fighting”.  My husband shushed me and pointed out that my younger daughters were giving their older brother hugs goodnight.  I had been praying all summer that my son would give his little sisters “the time of day.” He was laughing and allowing them to hug him and actually returning the hugs, and here I was ready to nip the whole thing.  In my control-freakness, I was resisting God’s workings in my own home.  I was insisting on ‘staying near the holy water’ instead of ‘coming face to face with God in the Eucharist’.  

I am not often enough the little child who is awaiting miracles.  Often times I am very childish, insisting that I know best or that I have the strength to control things.  I beg Blessed Mother to pick me up, despite my kicking legs and flailing arms, and to take me to her Son! 

Mary, carry me in your arms like your own child.

Please allow me to become light like a balloon

carried by the wind of the Holy Spirit, docile to

carrying out God’s will and free from attachments.

I do not want to know where this Divine Wind

comes from or where it will carry me.  I do not

want to impose my own plans and visions on God.

I want to be docile like you.

           (S.C. Biela, Open Wide the Door to Christ (Ft.  Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005), 146.)

Entrustment to Mary = Hugs from God

Today I participated in my new parish’s women’s retreat. I had earlier decided to go as a means to meet new people, and to feel connected with this new community.  I was also in need of some quiet time for prayer.  Upon arrival, I was greeted with a gift bag and ushered to a gourmet breakfast.  This mother-of-five was feeling rather pampered after only five minutes!  But I was treated to much, much more as the day progressed.

The theme was “Strength for the Journey” and the program began with heartfelt, deep prayer.  Musicians shared songs inspired by the Holy Spirit, written especially for this retreat.  I was pleasantly surprised that the celebration of the Holy Eucharist had been included in the schedule!  I was given the chance for meditation and personally reflected on my own temptations to be my own strength, rather than relying on God as my Everything.  Living the spirituality of communion of life with Christ through His Blessed Mother, I was touched by women sharing about the significance of Mary being their mother, too.  It was as if God was reassuring me that this was my new home.  I had been comparing this parish to my previous one mercilessly, and now I was finally open to recognizing God’s presence and will that I be at peace here.

But most of all, I was touched deeply by the vulnerability of the guest speakers.  They shared their stories in such detail and openness that I was humbled to my core.  I have not experienced such grief (not even close), and I was absolutely amazed at the strength of God’s grace.  I was reminded of how close God is to me, to each of us.  I was overwhelmed with the awareness of how God loves us each uniquely and with such attention to small details.  I was amazed that, despite the deep pain, the faith of these women was strengthened.  In their weakness, they discovered God’s strength.  They were in need of His grace, His love, His mercy - and He delivers again, and again, and again.  And I sensed their gratitude. 

Being Control Freak, one of my mixed reactions was fear – fear of a similar situation happening in my life.  I know that my faith is not strong.  I want to say, “Lord, let it be done to me according to Thy word,” but I am too weak!  So as I reflect on this more, I turn to the arms of my Mama, and ask her to carry me.  As I prayed I was directed to the following:

….”Because of gratitude, you can begin to perceive the entire world surrounding you as God’s arms embracing you.  Maybe in the light of faith you will see a discreet inscription on the things around you:  “A gift from the Lord God” or “A gift from the Loving Presence.”  …The deeper your gratitude becomes, the more you can begin to hear…how the world around you speaks of Love.  After all, all of God’s gifts that surround you whisper, repeat, and call out:

I love you as you are.  Therefore, I am with you.  I take care of you.  I give you everything that you need every day.  If you need the bitter pill of suffering, then I give it to you, but only because I know that it is the most priceless gift that you may receive at this moment.  When you need a sweet candy you receive it, because without it, My dearest, you cannot manage on your own.

                                    S.C. Biela, The Two Pillars (Ft Collins, CO: IAMF, 2006), 73-74

So in our Blessed Mother’s arms, I am at peace and I am grateful.  I received a lot of sweet candies today…the biggest being the awareness of how intimately God loves you and me.

Entrustment to Mary = Seeing the Need for a Spiritual Director

I'm typing in the car on a road trip with my husband and kids, ranging in age from 3 to 17. The youngest one (her name will be "Little One" in this blog) is currently asleep in the car seat - what bliss!  Nothing like a sleeping child to get those extra miles behind you.  All in all she's been a good traveler. 

Last night after stopping for dinner, I was encouraging the Little One to get into her car seat in a hurry. She wanted to do it herself, as is expected from a 3 year old. I grabbed her arm to help her up and I guess I wasn't gentle enough and accidentally hurt her arm. She started crying. It was a cry that was doubled by exhaustion and made you feel really guilty.  I apologized and gave lots of kisses, but I had no influence on the tears. Then, out of the blue, she stopped and said "My brother told me not to cry in the car."   And, then, she stopped crying. I was amazed at how willing she was to follow her brother's advice.  

This made me reflect on how absolutely wonderful it is to have a spiritual director. Look at how much easier it was for the Little One to stop crying when she remembered she had made a "promise" to her brother not to cry. She was motivated not by her own idea, but by the advice she received from someone she trusts. 

This is true for me too. Because of living in Blessed Mother's arms, I desire to view my spiritual director as Her special instrument to guide me and help me find the shortest way to union with Her Son. I don't trust my own thoughts on how to deal with certain situations, so I bring my "misery" to my spiritual father and I await the next move. Maybe I'm told, "the next time you find yourself crying, ask yourself, are your tears because your pride was wounded, or because you wounded Christ?"  If I remember this when I'm crying next, then this advice becomes a tool that helps me get closer to the truth about myself. If by grace I see that my tears were flowing over my wounded ego, then I can ask Blessed Mother to change my motivation. I can desire to stop crying for myself. [1]

It's not always easy to follow advice that goes against my own will. However, in Blessed Mother's Arms, I have the hope that She will mold me and soften my heart to follow Our Father's will. In the meantime, I am so grateful because GOD loves me as I am.

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[1] "And I would like to say that this invitation continues to be valid for all -- priests, consecrated persons and laypeople -- and especially for young people -- to take recourse to the counsels of a good spiritual father, capable of accompanying each one in profound knowledge of oneself, and leading one to union with the Lord, so that one's life is increasingly conformed to the Gospel. We always need a guide, dialogue, to go to the Lord. We cannot do it with our reflections alone. " (Benedict XVI, General Audience 2009-09-16 http://www.zenit.org/article-26879?l=english).