Entrustment to Mary = Celebrating God's Merciful Love

My daughter went into labor on the Monday of Holy Week. Before I could pack up and drive even one hour of the five hour journey to the city she is living in, I received the text that her baby girl had been born, just a short 1 ½  hours after being admitted into the hospital! She had been considered a high risk pregnancy and we had a scare in January of a premature delivery. Prayers ensued, and miraculously [according to the neonatal specialists], she and baby held on 10 more weeks to deliver at week 35. The baby was 6.6lbs - a healthy weight for her gestation. She remained in the hospital the next 10 days to rid her jaundice and gain the weight she lost in the first few days. She is God’s beautiful creation, just how He designed her to be.

For me, it turned my final week of Lent upside down. Coming into Holy Week, I was ready to give my full attention to the special themes of each daily Mass, and then to participate in the Triduum as we do every year. Instead, I forgot to pack my prayer book, and only attended Holy Thursday and Easter Sunday Masses. My whole schedule was rearranged as I took on helping my daughter learn how to nurse and care for her baby, for I was fortunate to be able to stay with her in the hospital room. I felt uneasy during the adjustment of “not being in control” of my prayer life, exercise routine, and meal preparation. Basically I had to put aside my expectations of what the week should be, and just be! Once I surrendered to my Blessed Mom and entrusted to her my prayer, my desire, and my awaiting for Easter, I was then able to relax and concentrate on helping my daughter. It was freeing to drop my illusions of how I believed Holy Week was to be experienced. It was refreshing to acknowledge that God is in control and I only need to follow His lead. Just as my new little grandbaby required our love and care, God showed me how helpless I am and how I need the love and care of my Blessed Mom. She helps me see the truth about myself and with her WE then can call upon the abyss of Jesus’ merciful love. She helps me see how her Son died for my sins and through this merciful act rescues me. And with this Good News I may sing this Easter Season ~ Alleluia! Alleluia!

 

"An “old” person – someone who relies on his own calculations, who lists pros and cons – limits the possibility for God to act and sets limits on His love and mercy. Constantly calculating and predicting if one will be successful or not is a trait of old age. A child grasps for the moon and believes that he will get it – and God wants to give you more than the moon. He wants to give you His kingdom, but if you do not become a child, His hands will be tied."

 

Tadeusz Dajczer, TheGift of Faith, 3rd. ed. (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2012), 64.

Entrustment To Mary= A "Good" Lent

So here we are - we have made the journey through Lent and are ready to rejoice and sing Alleluia to our resurrected Lord. As most of my Lenten seasons go, I tried to carry out my sacrifices on my own, which led me to see a lot of my misery and come once again to the same conclusion that I can do nothing without Jesus - my Savior.

This year it was interesting how I was handed two temptations in the realm of my chosen fasting foods and on both occasions I failed - at least in the world's eyes. First, when I ordered a taco from a food cart I asked the server not to give me the chips that came with the meal. When my dinner basket arrived it included the chips. I looked at them as a special gift from God, and started to munch away. Then when I contemplated what had happened, I realized it could have been a good opportunity for me to ask Jesus to help me refrain from eating them.

Second, a patient's wife bought for me a big delicious looking peanut-butter cookie. Not wanting to hurt her feelings by refusing it, I gobbled it up. Then I reflected on how much I worry about offending humans over offending my God. Surprisingly for me, in both instances, with grace, I did not walk away sad, which usually my bruised pride prompts me to do. But instead, with my Blessed Mother, WE asked for mercy on my self-centered soul, and thanked God for his unconditional love.

So, I can say this was a good Lent. Through numerous humiliations, God trusted me to see my weaknesses and gave me the grace not to run away like this Scaredy Cat normally would do. With God's grace along with my entrustment to the Blessed Mother, a small crack has formed in my hardened heart, allowing Divine Mercy rays to penetrate through in order to rescue me. Yes, this was a very good Lent indeed!

If at least a fissure appears in the armor of your distrust, then God, Who is always fighting for you, will try to take advantage of it. He will use this fissure to build an entry way into your firmly fortified world. Your egotistical reign is closed before God because you continually fear that He will diminish the reign of your I and that He will limit your lordship. That is why even the existence of the smallest Divine fissure is important because it can eventually be enlarged so that there will be more and more space in you for the light of Divine grace that saves you. [1]

For the time being, the light is faint. Even this faint light, however, shows us certain fragments of the truth - the truth about ourselves in relationship to God, to ourselves, and to the world. Even though amid shadows one cannot see much, this experience is already shocking and painful. In one's gradual discovery of the difficult truth about himself, one can see God's great gentleness and love for the soul that could otherwise become terrified and rebel. God trusts that we will not run away from this light, but rather accept it as a gift. This gift is difficult to receive, but God must give such a gift in order to rescue the beloved soul from the unconscious lie in which it is living. When we begin to see the truth about ourselves in the Divine light, we will also begin to understand that the perfection, which was the source of our self-satisfaction, was an illusion. [2]

[1] S.C. Biela, Behold I Stand at the Door and Knock, (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005), 11.

[2] Ibid, 9.

Entrustment to Mary = Facing My Sugar Addiction

My addiction to sugar began at a very early age. I should have suspected something was unusual when I found the Helms bakery glazed doughnut covered in dirt in our yard and decided to brush it off and eat it, or when my sister’s boyfriend told me to kiss his toes before he would share a treat – and I did! I come from a family who fed this addiction with M&M and See’s candies at every occasion, and dessert served every night. So each Lent I choose to give up candy and cookies – my two biggest temptations to gluttony. I am amazed how good I feel when I lose the extreme sugar consumption – I have lots of energy and am more productive throughout the day. This extra boost even leads me to more prayer time and desires to be more charitable. Life is good without sugar.

 

Then Easter Sunday arrives and the fasting is over for it is time to celebrate our Lord’s Resurrection. I notice I get a bit apprehensive thinking about returning to sugar. I say to myself, “Why not stay off it! You feel so good! It is healthy for you!” Yet, soon I find myself in the store buying candy. I try to rationalize that the kids “need” Easter baskets full of delectable chocolates, as I purchase my favorite pieces, knowing it won’t all fit in their baskets so some will be left for me. Every year I give in and celebrate the Resurrection with an over consumption of sweets. I especially felt supersaturated with sugar this year. And even though I was bilious, I continued to gorge on treats for the next 50 days of the Easter Season. 

In reflection on my sugar addiction, I want to reason that it is the extra graces that come with the Holy season of Lent that help me overcome my weakness to candies and cookies during those 40 days. Although, this is true, in reality there are also graces during the “ordinary” days of the year that can help if only I would call upon them. 

Reflecting on the Gospel reading of the rich young man who leaves Jesus because he cannot follow him for he does not want to give up his material goods (cf. Mark 10:17-20)  made me stop and think - would I give up my candies for Jesus, if He asked? Could I leave a scrumptious dessert to follow His call? Most likely not, but I am learning that Jesus loves me anyway, so I must not turn away sad, but instead look at Him and say, “Lord, I cannot leave my gluttony by myself, I need You to help me.”  I have learned that standing in the truth of who I am, and admitting it to Christ is what He wants, for then He can rescue me. If I try to rid my addiction on my own I will always fail.[1] If I ask for the Blessed Mother to help me then I have the power of Her intercession and grace which is strong enough to triumph over my temptations.[2] I also know that I have to continually ask for this grace – daily, in fact. For as soon as I think I have conquered my addiction, it seduces me again, and if I am not begging for spiritual help, I soon give into its enticement. Another great defense against my addiction is offering it up during the Consecration of the Eucharist at Holy Mass, and since I am able to attend daily Mass I have the opportunity to do this often.[3]

I have resolved myself to the fact I will always have this addiction in some form in my life. It is God’s way of reminding me how much I need Him.[4] What I am coming to understand is that God loves me no matter how many cookies or candies I eat. He also loves me by sending me graces through His Son, the Eucharist and through the Blessed Mother so I may confront my cravings – for He knows how good I feel when I am not over consuming refined sugars and He wants the best for me – and being entrusted to His Mother I am learning to want that too!

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[1] “Upon seeing your helplessness, trustfully call out to the Giver of everything to rescue you. He wants to do all things for you because He loves you and He sees that you cannot live without His love.” S.C. Biela, Open Wide the Door to Christ, (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005), 252. pg. 85

[2] “It is necessary for you to ask Mary as often as possible for Her intercession. She, your Mother, intercedes for you, even when you do not ask her to do so. But, when you do ask her, when you give her your consent – your “yes,” it is as if her hands are freed. When you entrust yourself to her, she can obtain everything from God. She can even ask for a miracle,

such that you will begin to be poor in spirit, as someone who lives with the hunger for God and His holy will." Ibid. 132

[3] “The Holy Mass is the center of our spiritual life, the answer to all of the questions and doubts that torment us. It is the rescue from our afflictions and difficulties. It is the perfect cure for every evil.” Ibid. 80

[4] “When you begin to seek help in your helplessness, you will hear the knocking of the One who, upon crossing the border into your world, desires to rescue you. God desires that you seek nothing other than Him. Because of God’s desire, His knocking is present in your failures, disillusionment, and disappointments. He brings them about or allows these events to happen so that you can see that His will should be everything for you.” Ibid. 192