Our Lady and St. Juan Diego

Our Lady and St. Juan Diego

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Entrustment to Mary = Finding Hope in God's Will

My son, 11 years old, loves to linger at bedtime.  Even after a shower, prayer time, and some reading, he will usually find a reason to come out of his room one last time to share an anecdote from the day, express a concern, ask a deep question, or fetch a glass of water.  It seems to me that he enjoys a bit of one on one time with his dad and me, and/or he is a naturally social person who enjoys social activity and conversation as opposed to sleep or quiet down time.  I am usually a bit frustrated as I am looking forward to the quiet and my own down time with my husband, but I try to remind myself that these days will be missed one day, and that I am given a valuable gift of my son’s openness and joy to be with his parents.  Still, I am “Control Freak” and it bothers me that he does not “obey” our instructions to go to bed in a timely manner.

Earlier today there was some discussion about the possibility of his being able to stay overnight with his cousin tomorrow.  After prayer time, he said his goodnights and we did not hear a peep out of him for the rest of the night.  My husband noticed this and asked what I thought about it.  We had been reprimanding our children about listening to our instructions the first time for weeks (well, years to be honest!).  And I have to admit that his obedience surprised me!  I wondered if his obedience had to do with wanting to please us so we would say yes to his outing with his cousin.  But maybe he was trying to make an effort to listen the first time.  Or maybe he was just plain old tired and ready for sleep!  My husband, as he himself drifted off to sleep, said, “Whatever the reason, we just need to love him.”

I started to wonder about my own motivations before my Heavenly Father.  How pure are my intentions?  I am starting to recognize that I am mostly motivated by whatever is convenient for myself.  I get upset with my children or my husband for their mistakes mostly because of how it affects me!  I get upset at my daughters’ bickering primarily because they might wake the baby and cause extra work for me!  Instead of living out my vocation as mother with humility and God’s grace, I am irritated at my children’s need for repeated guidance and discipline because it is inconvenient for me!

For what do we really live?  Do we live to eat, drink, and die?  Is life all about spending time in an increasingly more pleasant way while we are healthy, only to grow old and die in tremendous pain and suffering as the majority of people do in the end?  What is the purpose of our lives?  Is it to have a comfortable standard of living in this world?  The Lord God created us so that we would live according to His image and likeness.  Is it real when we please our own egos by professing the principle:  My will be done? 

…Christ says, “…my yoke is easy, and my burden light” (Mt 11:30).  We can experience this when we follow the rule:  Your will be done.  If we follow this rule, then our lives will become much easier and simpler...  These words point out the path that leads to eternal happiness.  These words are our road signs toward the heavenly homeland…

…Even if we intellectually accept that God’s will is the best, we often strive to convince not only ourselves and others, but also God Himself, that our own wants coincide with His will…

…Is it possible for a person who is very weak and fragile to live by his own strength according to the words: fiat voluntas Tua?  If you see how being obedient to God’s will is difficult for you, then you can ask Mary to live in obedience to God’s will in you.  After all, she was the first to fully and perfectly utter fiat to God.  She alone repeatedly gave that fiat for her entire life.  Mary is our Mother.  God gives her to us as a special help…
(S.C. Biela, Open Wide the Door to Christ (Fort Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005),102, 105, 106, 107).

I am that person who is very weak and fragile and who cannot, on my own, humbly and joyfully seek God’s will.  As Christmas approaches, I am ever more grateful for Mary’s fiat, her “yes” to God’s will. I see my own need for Christ the Savior.  I see Him as my true Hope. In His incomprehensible love, God brings me His Son.  And He brings Him through our Blessed Mama, who leads me back to Him again and again.

My husband’s reminder that we just need to love our children regardless of their motivation reminds me that God loves me as I am, too.  So much so that “a child is born to us, a son is given to us” (Isaiah 9:5). Merry Christmas.    
 

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