Our Lady and St. Juan Diego

Our Lady and St. Juan Diego

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Entrustment to Mary = Kissing the Cross

I had the most interesting dream this week. I dreamt that I was being attacked by some ferocious four-legged animal. It had an awful snarl and huge teeth. I was holding its muzzle shut for a while, but realized it was too strong and too big for me to keep my grip on it. I was going to panic, but interiorly Blessed Mother was telling me not to be afraid – to let go and She would protect me. So, I let go. The “beast” snarled one last time, but then jumped up and gave me a friendly lick on the cheek.

I found it fascinating that I had this dream the night before reading the Families of Nazareth Movement’s Easter readings reflection that I use in a small faith-sharing group. One of the themes from this week’s reflection was fear and the feeling of being threatened. In Fr. Dajczer’s book The Gift of Faith he says:  “Fear, as well as the feeling of being threatened, becomes a part of the Redemption. Jesus, dying on the Cross, redeemed us from fear and from the feeling of being threatened, just as He redeemed us from sin.”[1]  He continues, “How are you to fight this fear that surrounds you? If you fight it directly, it will end in a fiasco. There is only one unfailing way:  open yourself up to the redeeming action of Christ through faith like that of an evangelical child.** You must believe that Jesus redeemed you from everything that threatens you, that you are truly free.”[2]

"Woman, Behold Your Son"
by James Tissot
I could really relate these words with my dream. I felt threatened by this beast. I felt there was no hope for survival when relying on my own strength. How true this is in my everyday life! I find “beasts” all around me! It’s bad enough just to read the news, but sometimes they come in an email that shares my friend is having another miscarriage, or a text that my friend left the seminary, or a phone call that my friend’s father has to have surgery for cancer, or the news of a friend’s divorce. Sometimes the “beasts” threatening me are my own thoughts and desires for perfection – stemmed from my eyes being opened to the truth that I waste so many graces, that this Lent was torture, and I don’t even want to sit through the long Triduum services.

Thank goodness I had a scheduled call to my spiritual director this week! What a grace it was when he picked up the phone and was there to listen as I described all that was threatening me.  How on my own can I be open to trust? How on my own can I see the Cross as Divine Mercy? I can’t! That is why I am entrusted to Mary. Mary wants to lend me Her eyes so that I can start to see the abyss of my misery and the suffering and evil all around me in the light of the abyss of God’s divine mercy and love!  All that I see has already been redeemed…and so WE (Mary and I) can go into the Triduum with joy. My entrustment to Mary is helping me to trust that “nothing will be impossible with God” (Lk 1:37).

**What is an “evangelical child”? The Little One showed me this week. A week before Good Friday she remembered that she was going to get to kiss the cross today. Never has she been so excited to go to church. Strangely enough, our pastor decided to have us adore the cross from our seats and wait to venerate the cross after the service was over.  The Little One was so patient until she finally got to go up. When it was our turn, we literally ran up together and she smiled and reached for the cross to give it a big kiss. I joined her, more grateful this year than usual. Yes, Mary is molding hope in my heart!

[1] Tadeusz Dajczer, The Gift of Faith, 3rd. ed. (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2012), 60.
[2] Ibid

No comments:

Post a Comment