We are nearing our one-year anniversary of starting this blog, and here we are again at Mother’s Day. How fitting to be reminded of how very much I need Blessed Mama. I need her reminders that I am loved as I am, and I need her to accept God’s unconditional love for me.
My seven-year-old daughter made her First Holy Communion last weekend. Being Control Freak, I worried about whether she was properly prepared, whether we were going to complete the lessons in the instruction booklet, whether she was going to be able to fit in one more visit to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, whether she was going to really understand the significance of the Sacrament. Most of all, I worried whether I would be truly present to her because of my worries over our out-of-town guests and the reception plans. I was out of town the weekend before her special day, and I came home to many household tasks, along with unexpected ones like car trouble. So I found myself truly helpless. There was only so much I could do, and I barely had energy to do that. I found myself truly begging in the moment. Begging for the strength to deal with each little thing. I discovered how helpless I really am and had been all along. Because I was so overwhelmed, I saw how very little I am, how incapable I am.
I saw throughout the weekend how God was providing for me, with grandparents and godmothers stepping in to give my children individual attention. I saw His love through close friends who provided outdoor tables and chairs without even being asked. I saw His love through my husband who arose early to arrange a beautiful backyard reception setting. I saw even the gift in last-minute cancellations from guests, which allowed my stress levels to decrease and enable me to enjoy the close-knit friends and family in attendance.
But what stands out right now is the moment after my daughter received the sweetness of Jesus Christ on her tongue for the very first time. She turned to me and hugged me with joy! She didn’t quietly return to her seat and prayerfully reflect, although she did do that later with the loving guidance of her dad. She turned to her mother to share her joy. She turned to her mother to share her experience with Jesus. And I see now how that moment reminds me that I am gifted with the presence of my Mother, who helps me discover the joy of her Son. I see the gift that She is, in awaiting with me at the Eucharist. I see the gift that She is, helping me pray and beg for the grace of the moment. I see the gift that She is, mothering and loving my children with me. I see the mercy and generosity and rescue of the Father in gifting me with Mary. I see more and more how very much I need Her to accept God’s unconditional love for me, so that I can look at my loved ones through eyes of mercy and love, too. God knew, of course, how much I need Her and will continue to need Her. How very, very blessed I am to have a Creator Who knows so intimately what I need in order to better know His love.
This past year of blogging has forced me to stop and notice the ways in which our Blessed Mother is present and available, loving and patient, gentle and encouraging.
Happy Mother’s Day, Blessed Mama, and thank you, God, for allowing me to see the truth about my weaknesses, and how that calls upon the abyss of Your merciful love.
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