Each of our four daughters has a major event
happening this summer. In June our oldest delivered our second grandchild. Our
second oldest is getting married this next weekend. Our third is entering the
convent at the end of August. And our baby just celebrated her 21st
birthday. A lot of wonderful graces abound, but as is my usual response I am an
emotional wreck.
The secular world would consider me a “head”
person, for I do a lot of thinking. In fact I over analyze, and create many trials
in my imagination. So instead of just taking everything in stride, I create
different scenarios of each event, some good, some bad, and some just utterly ridiculous.
I can really get myself into a tizzy. When I started to feel a burning in my
stomach I realized I was NOT trusting God. I was in Church and noticed the
Divine Mercy painting and decided I need to use the “Jesus, I trust in You!”
phrase as my prayer mantra, especially when I start to feel anxiety, stress, or
sadness, for I am not good with change or major events. With change, I get
melancholy looking back on the way things used to be. With major events I enjoy
the preparations and the event, but afterward become overwhelmed with mourning
that it is over.
So when my daughter is travelling the 7 hour car ride to the wedding by herself with the newborn and toddler, instead of fretting I will repeat = "Jesus, I trust in You!"
When we pack for the wedding which is in a town
~5 hours away and I want to worry about not forgetting anything = “Jesus,
I trust in You!”
When we gather all of our daughter’s items
needed for her entrance day and we say our goodbyes = “Jesus, I trust in You!”
When my baby heads to the bars for some fun =
“Jesus, I trust in You!”
There is such comfort in these words. I want to give
all of my worries, anxieties, and emotions over to Him but I have spent too
many years repeating my mantra “Scaredy Cat I trust in you,” that I cannot
depend on myself to repeat this prayer. I must stay in my Blessed Mother’s
embrace and have Her speak the words for me. For as a mother, She had major
events that went way beyond those happening in my life, and through it all She
trusted in her Son and in God, as well as being an open vessel to the Holy
Spirit. There is no better solution for my human weaknesses and no better
rescue from being crushed by my human emotions than living in Communion with
Her!
All human systems of security cannot be perfect
since they are based solely on our plans or calculations; that is why they have
to fail, and then a crisis comes. If you trust in yourself, in your abilities,
in your possessions, or in people with whom you are connected, sooner or later
you will have to be disappointed.
In order for our faith to be reliance on Christ
and entrustment of ourselves to Him, we have to accept Him as our only sure
security. Flowing from faith in Christ’s Word, complete abandonment to Him is
the only adequate response to His unfathomable love for us.
Tadeusz Dajczer, TheGift of Faith, 3rd. ed. (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2012), 30-31.
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