I'm typing in the car on a road trip with my husband and kids, ranging in age from 3 to 17. The youngest one (her name will be "Little One" in this blog) is currently asleep in the car seat - what bliss! Nothing like a sleeping child to get those extra miles behind you. All in all she's been a good traveler.
Last night after stopping for dinner, I was encouraging the Little One to get into her car seat in a hurry. She wanted to do it herself, as is expected from a 3 year old. I grabbed her arm to help her up and I guess I wasn't gentle enough and accidentally hurt her arm. She started crying. It was a cry that was doubled by exhaustion and made you feel really guilty. I apologized and gave lots of kisses, but I had no influence on the tears. Then, out of the blue, she stopped and said "My brother told me not to cry in the car." And, then, she stopped crying. I was amazed at how willing she was to follow her brother's advice.
This made me reflect on how absolutely wonderful it is to have a spiritual director. Look at how much easier it was for the Little One to stop crying when she remembered she had made a "promise" to her brother not to cry. She was motivated not by her own idea, but by the advice she received from someone she trusts.
This is true for me too. Because of living in Blessed
Mother's arms, I desire to view my spiritual director as Her special instrument
to guide me and help me find the shortest way to union with Her Son. I don't
trust my own thoughts on how to deal with certain situations, so I bring my
"misery" to my spiritual father and I await the next move. Maybe I'm
told, "the next time you find yourself crying, ask yourself, are your tears
because your pride was wounded, or because you wounded Christ?" If I remember this when I'm crying next, then
this advice becomes a tool that helps me get closer to the truth about myself.
If by grace I see that my tears were flowing over my wounded ego, then I can
ask Blessed Mother to change my motivation. I can desire to stop crying for
myself. [1]
It's not always easy to follow advice that goes against my own will. However, in Blessed Mother's Arms, I have the hope that She will mold me and soften my heart to follow Our Father's will. In the meantime, I am so grateful because GOD loves me as I am.
[1]
"And I would like to say that this invitation continues to be valid for
all -- priests, consecrated persons and laypeople -- and especially for young
people -- to take recourse to the counsels of a good spiritual father, capable
of accompanying each one in profound knowledge of oneself, and leading one to
union with the Lord, so that one's life is increasingly conformed to the
Gospel. We always need a guide, dialogue, to go to the Lord. We cannot do it
with our reflections alone. " (Benedict XVI, General Audience 2009-09-16 http://www.zenit.org/article-26879?l=english).
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