I decided to do a series on
the “why” I’m entrusted to Mary. I’m not going to go in any type of
chronological order by importance…I’m just going to think and blog about one
reason at a time.
Reason 1: Because I am so deadly serious!
I was flying on Southwest
Airlines with my teenage daughter, flipping through the magazine I picked up
from the seat-back pocket in front of me. There was an article about how playing
like a child can help one improve her life. To start off there was a short quiz
to determine my playfulness. I took the test. It told me “you are all
business.” I got only 1 point on the playfulness side. My daughter was
scandalized to find out my answer to one of the questions: “If you saw a kitten playing with a string
you would…1) distract the kitten and start a new game with it, 2) think that
you haven’t changed the cat litter box, or 3) start playing with the string
yourself.” My answer? Think I haven’t
changed the cat litter box. Staring at me my daughter shook her head and said, “You
wouldn’t want to play with the kitten??”
I’m all business.
I remember MY being
scandalized freshman year in my high school religion class when my friends from
8th grade answered a survey that what they look for first in a
friend is a sense of humor. No wonder they didn’t invite me to sleep-overs any
more…it was obvious, I had very little sense of humor. But why? It was the one thing so important to so many
people in my life…and yet the one thing I could not compete with. My brothers
and sisters were all so funny. Laughs were so valued. The more I stressed over
it, the more serious I became.
Little did I know at the time,
but my seriousness was a form of narcissism. I took myself so
seriously, and the world around me so seriously, because I was focused on
myself. I was focused on how I perceived the world and how the world perceived
me. Completely lost in this analysis, I didn’t believe I was lovable, nor did I
know how to love. Despite my Baptism, I lived for myself. Even all my catholic
practices were a form of self-love since I was trying to look better in my own
eyes. I didn’t know God, so how could I serve Him? I didn’t understand His
mercy, so how could I love Him?
How can one so serious
change? How can one go from focusing on herself and her sins to focusing on God’s
love and His mercy? How can one go from depression to calling herself “High
Hopes”?
ENTRUSTMENT TO MARY!
I am absolutely convinced
that this way is the easiest way to help the narcissist get over herself/himself!
Why THIS way?
- I had already tried my own human power – it wasn’t working.
- “The easiest and surest way to arrive at falling in love with God is to fall in love with Mary first. When you fall in love with Her, you will want to disappear and to die to yourself like She did. You will desire that the false image of your ego in your heart be replaced by God’s image. Likewise, you will then desire to be incapable of your own action, and instead you will desire to fulfill God’s will, just as Mary did.” (S.C. Biela, Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock [Fort Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005], 63.)
- “[Mary’s] deepest desire is that Christ may grow in you in a way that there is no longer any place in your heart for yourself but only for Him and for His will.” (S.C. Biela, In The Arms of Mary, 2nd. ed, rev. [Fort Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005], 169.
- “The awareness that Mary ‘carries you in her arms’ will enable you to remain in God’s presence with unfaltering faith in His love.” (Ibid. 172)
- “The arms of the Mother of God are the special place/ in which you can rise again from every sin.” (Ibid. 175)
- Mary helps one obtain the virtue of humor, which “enables you to attain the proper perspective between the two realities: God and yourself. In this way, the virtue of humor cleanses your faith of egoism and strengthens it. It will show you with great clarity that only God is really important in your life.” (Tadeusz Dajczer, The Gift of Faith, 3rd. ed. [Fort Collins, CO: IAMF, 2012], 101.)
- Because THIS way is so loving and gentle.
Mary (in and through my spiritual
director, my confessor, my faith-sharing groups, my husband, my children, in
Scripture, in the events and in the books on the subject) has helped me to see
my weaknesses and my insecurities and my desire for acceptance from others as
my NEED for Her. Instead of these truths leading me to depression like they
used to, they are bringing me joy because they lead me to say to Mary “I need
You more!” Because of the graces She is obtaining for me, WE (Mary and me)
desire together to focus on God’s mercy more than my sins. WE have a sense of humor, especially
regarding my failures and weaknesses. This is truly amazing for a person who is
deadly serious! Thanks be to my Lord, Jesus Christ!
This blog is helpful recognzing how God is revealed i every day life. I find myself growing closer to Mary. She is our model for faith and humility. With faith and humility, it is easier to see God work in day to day life, and not only in hindsight, as has often been the case for me.
ReplyDeleteSo true!
DeleteVery honest and interesting post.
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to read it.
Delete