I decided to do a series on the “why” I’m entrusted to Mary. I’m not going to go in any type of chronological order by importance…I’m just going to think and blog about one reason at a time.
Reason 1: Because I am so deadly serious!
I was flying on Southwest Airlines with my teenage daughter, flipping through the magazine I picked up from the seat-back pocket in front of me. There was an article about how playing like a child can help one improve her life. To start off there was a short quiz to determine my playfulness. I took the test. It told me “you are all business.” I got only 1 point on the playfulness side. My daughter was scandalized to find out my answer to one of the questions: “If you saw a kitten playing with a string you would…1) distract the kitten and start a new game with it, 2) think that you haven’t changed the cat litter box, or 3) start playing with the string yourself.” My answer? Think I haven’t changed the cat litter box. Staring at me my daughter shook her head and said, “You wouldn’t want to play with the kitten??”
I’m all business.
I remember MY being scandalized freshman year in my high school religion class when my friends from 8th grade answered a survey that what they look for first in a friend is a sense of humor. No wonder they didn’t invite me to sleep-overs any more…it was obvious, I had very little sense of humor. But why? It was the one thing so important to so many people in my life…and yet the one thing I could not compete with. My brothers and sisters were all so funny. Laughs were so valued. The more I stressed over it, the more serious I became.
Little did I know at the time, but my seriousness was a form of narcissism. I took myself so seriously, and the world around me so seriously, because I was focused on myself. I was focused on how I perceived the world and how the world perceived me. Completely lost in this analysis, I didn’t believe I was lovable, nor did I know how to love. Despite my Baptism, I lived for myself. Even all my catholic practices were a form of self-love since I was trying to look better in my own eyes. I didn’t know God, so how could I serve Him? I didn’t understand His mercy, so how could I love Him?
How can one so serious change? How can one go from focusing on herself and her sins to focusing on God’s love and His mercy? How can one go from depression to calling herself “High Hopes”?
ENTRUSTMENT TO MARY!
I am absolutely convinced that this way is the easiest way to help the narcissist get over herself/himself!
Why THIS way?
- I had already tried my own human power – it wasn’t working.
- “The easiest and surest way to arrive at falling in love with God is to fall in love with Mary first. When you fall in love with Her, you will want to disappear and to die to yourself like She did. You will desire that the false image of your ego in your heart be replaced by God’s image. Likewise, you will then desire to be incapable of your own action, and instead you will desire to fulfill God’s will, just as Mary did.” (S.C. Biela, Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock [Fort Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005], 63.)
- “[Mary’s] deepest desire is that Christ may grow in you in a way that there is no longer any place in your heart for yourself but only for Him and for His will.” (S.C. Biela, In The Arms of Mary, 2nd. ed, rev. [Fort Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005], 169.
- “The awareness that Mary ‘carries you in her arms’ will enable you to remain in God’s presence with unfaltering faith in His love.” (Ibid. 172)
- “The arms of the Mother of God are the special place/ in which you can rise again from every sin.” (Ibid. 175)
- Mary helps one obtain the virtue of humor, which “enables you to attain the proper perspective between the two realities: God and yourself. In this way, the virtue of humor cleanses your faith of egoism and strengthens it. It will show you with great clarity that only God is really important in your life.” (Tadeusz Dajczer, The Gift of Faith, 3rd. ed. [Fort Collins, CO: IAMF, 2012], 101.)
- Because THIS way is so loving and gentle.
Mary (in and through my spiritual director, my confessor, my faith-sharing groups, my husband, my children, in Scripture, in the events and in the books on the subject) has helped me to see my weaknesses and my insecurities and my desire for acceptance from others as my NEED for Her. Instead of these truths leading me to depression like they used to, they are bringing me joy because they lead me to say to Mary “I need You more!” Because of the graces She is obtaining for me, WE (Mary and me) desire together to focus on God’s mercy more than my sins. WE have a sense of humor, especially regarding my failures and weaknesses. This is truly amazing for a person who is deadly serious! Thanks be to my Lord, Jesus Christ!