Being
in good physical condition, being in good spirits psychologically, or being in
great ‘spiritual condition’ (our own perception) – all this is fleeting.
Everything gradually has to be taken away from us some day so that we can cling
only to God.
S.C.
Biela, God Alone Suffices, 3rd.
ed. (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2011), 62
I
have a hard time accepting “blessed weaknesses”. God has recently given me a
few to contend with. Here’s my list: Carpal Tunnel surgery, trigger thumb, a
wart under my big toe, plantar fasciitis, and mole removal requiring stitches.
The carpal tunnel surgery went well and alleviated a lot of pain I was having
in my arm especially while in bed at night. The trigger thumb was resolved with
a cortisone shot. The wart was first frozen then burned out. The plantar fasciitis
is still in healing mode, causing me to back off my usual exercise routine. The
stitches were removed with the scar not being too hideous and the mole
was benign.
These were all small “taps” on the door of my heart to remind me to rely only on God. Yet I have a hard time accepting and thanking Him for these weaknesses. Sure I am appreciative that they were not fatal diseases, but I find it hard to be grateful in moments of suffering. Instead I become annoyed that my routine has been disturbed. Only when the problem has been resolved or injury healed - am I truly grateful.
When
explaining this attitude to my spiritual director he used the analogy of
comparing God to a doctor who is going to do surgery on me. Do I question the instruments
and procedure the doctor will use? Even if I do, most likely I will accept it.
I need to look at God as doing surgery on my soul, preparing it for eternal
life with Him. I should not question his method or the tools He uses, but should
accept it gratefully for the outcome will be the best for me ~ Heaven.
Entrusting myself to the Blessed Mother helps me to be more open to acceptance. She did not question or ask for explanations, but humbly followed God’s plans for her. Together with Blessed Mom, WE can ask for the grace of acceptance and gratefulness of the weaknesses God gives me. Together with Blessed Mom, WE can rely only on God.
God
will definitely work miracles in our lives if we allow Him to enter our lives,
at least to some extent. The best situations, then from a spiritual sense, are
those in which, in the midst of our weakness and powerlessness, we begin to beg
for God’s mercy, being convinced that the Creator loves us as we are. Ibid
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