Entrustment to Mary = Miracles

I arrived at our parish’s Holy Thursday Mass so exhausted I wanted to cry.  I had been so busy all week, all day.  I wanted to celebrate the start of the Holy Triduum with all the members of our family, little ones included, but I had no energy.  We arrived a bit early to get some seats, and I knelt to prepare for Mass. My prayer went something like this, “ Dear Lord, I know how very significant this celebration is tonight, and though I want to be here in my mind, I am so tired that I also do not want to be here at all.  I want my children to experience the grace of this Last Supper celebration, and yet I do not want them here as I can barely take care of myself.  I can hardly sit here with my eyes closed, let alone take care of little ones, some of whom are awake past their regular bedtimes.  I am too weak to take care of them.  I am too tired to deal with their tiredness.  Please, Lord, have mercy on me.  If you want our family here, You will need to take care of them because I cannot.  Blessed Mama, please help me.”

And then I just sat.  As the Mass began and carried on, my children were quiet.  My 18-month old was QUIET!  Normally he is fussy from the beginning, but this night he busied himself with the kneeler and the teenaged girl sitting next to us.  He listened to the music and from time to time, settled himself on my lap for a cuddle.  Whose children were these????  I hardly recognized any of them!  After the homily, the congregation was invited to participate in the washing of feet.  Little did I know such a treat was in store.  My daughter and son, the two who bicker constantly, were in line next to each other and washed each other’s feet.  I could barely keep from tearing up. 

After the two hour Mass, my husband led us to the Adoration room for a quick visit.  At this point, the baby was getting a bit fussy, so I left to wait outside.  My husband was quick to follow me, but then noticed our daughter deeply quiet in prayer.  He waited awhile longer for her and then we drove home.  We sent everyone off to get ready for bed when this same daughter approached me.  She wanted to share something that happened to her at Mass, but couldn’t find the words.  Finally she was able to share that at the moment of consecration, she felt God’s presence in a profound way.  She knew He was there in the bread.  She could barely keep from crying as she explained that it was different, that she knew He was really there.  Same thing when she went to adoration.  I was extremely grateful in my heart for this gift she had received and explained to her that her soul recognized God’s presence.  He had always been there before, but tonight she had been open to recognizing Him. 

This reminds me of one of my favorite Scripture readings this time of year, the story of the road to Emmaus (Luke 24: 13-35). Two of Jesus’ disciples were conversing about all the events that had taken place and Jesus draws near and joins them, but they do not recognize him.  It isn’t until He is at table with them that their eyes are opened and they recognize him in the breaking of the bread. 

I guess I am just amazed at how God can reveal Himself when He so chooses.  I am grateful for the gift of Blessed Mama, because without Her, I might have fled the Mass or been beside myself with crankiness.  I could have become a major obstacle for my daughter and the rest of my family.  I do thank God for His mercy and for the presence of His Body and Blood in the Eucharist.   I thank God for searching out my children even though I am an obstacle.  And I beg our Mother to be my eyes so that I might not be blind to God’s presence in my midst.

The Families of Nazareth Movement, designed to support those living the spirituality of Communion of Life with Christ Through Mary, explains that it’s Charism includes the following: “By the grace of the Holy Spirit, through Our Blessed Mother, we aren’t afraid to present to God our weaknesses and misery.  In fact, we benefit from our weaknesses because they help us to more fully experience God’s Redemptive Mercy, especially in and through the Eucharist and Confession.  Surrendering to God’s will through Mary, we entrust ourselves to her so that she will lead us to humility, trust, and total obedience to God…..”  (http://www.familiesofnazareth.us/) I saw for myself that relying on my weakness, standing in truth about it, brought about miracles!  I saw these miracles with own eyes this past Holy Thursday night.  Thank you, God, for allowing me to see the truth about my weaknesses, and how it calls upon the abyss of Your Merciful Love.