I have been unemployed for three weeks now and have
gone through a whirlwind of emotions. When I want to start second guessing my
resignation I remind myself that I had begged my Lord and His Blessed Mother to
not let me make a mistake and to be quite obvious [like my car not starting] if
I should not turn in the resignation letter. All had gone smoothly that day, as
well as the following final two weeks.
What I have come to realize is I want to be a “Somebody”, and I think I can only be
one if I am employed. For 15 years I had defined myself as a
secretary/bookkeeper for my parish. I took pride in that title and the work I
did. I liked how the parishioners relied on me for matters concerning the
Church. I felt that since my job was working for the Church, I was then extra
“special” in the eyes of God and the world. Now that I have stripped that title
from myself I feel I have lost a sense of who I am.
Visiting with my niece we discussed how most people define themselves by what they do for a career or the job they hold. She had heard someone share the answer to the question: "What do you do?" as "I am trying to follow Christ the best I can."
Visiting with my niece we discussed how most people define themselves by what they do for a career or the job they hold. She had heard someone share the answer to the question: "What do you do?" as "I am trying to follow Christ the best I can."
This response really struck a chord with me. For now
being unemployed, I cannot answer that question with some fancy work title. But
in reality, I can give the same answer that person did and be grateful that God has blessed me
with the grace of being a Christian and for the graces He has given me to live
out that calling. When I think about it, I realize there is no other title
worth holding - for a worldly job will eventually end, but my Christianity will
continue for eternity. So it makes sense to make living my spiritual life the
highest priority. And the only way I can do this is to keep entrusting myself
to the Blessed Mother, allowing her to guide me on a path that follows her Son
and His example which will help me be the best Christian I can be.
We prefer to think "I am somebody." And yet this greatness that we presume to have and with which we constantly fill our hearts, is only a mirage and illusion. All of the illusory supports that we seek in ourselves, in others, in objects, in money, and in success feed this mirage. God wants to burn all of this away in the fire of His love, because He loves this handful of dirt so much that He wants to permeate it with Himself - He, the Creator of the universe.
S.C. Biela, God Alone Suffices, 3rd. ed. (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2011), 148.
I love this from "Amazing Nearness" about St Augustine..a great reminder...
ReplyDelete"St Augustine’s purification was severe. Hippo, into which he had put so much loving effort, had collapsed. What had taken years to build was destroyed...such was the fate of one of the greatest saints and church fathers". (pg37) "Humanly speaking, everything was destroyed. Yet, God never looses; maybe the destruction of Hippo was necessary so St Augustine would find deeper union with God. Christ did not shed His Precious Blood for Hippo, He did it for His beloved Augustine."
In the end all that matters is our relationship with God...
That is a great reminder ...thanks for sharing!
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