After acting so very childish tonight, I was amazed to read the following words:
Just as she did in the case of St. Juan Diego, the Blessed Mother places you too on her back and carries you through your life as someone defeated by your own pride. While carrying you on her back, she unceasingly adores her Son, Jesus Christ, your Savior who constantly blessed both her and you whom she carries as her beloved child. You should not forget why you are being carried: you lost the fight; you could not manage on your own. Without her you would have never advanced from the point of defeat. (S.C. Biela, The Two Pillars, [Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2006], 37).
|"The Blessed Virgin Mary, our Mother, prays for us continually, and helps those we entrust to her care" |
by Elizabeth Wang, T-01513-OL, © Radiant Light 2006, www.radiantlight.org.uk"
While driving in my car, I felt so very frustrated. I knew it really wasn’t about the chips. I had been feeling so tired and unappreciated by everyone in my household and was throwing a little pity party for myself.
But - mostly I was frustrated by my pride. My pride pushed me out the door to buy the chips and show my kids how unappreciative I was of their father’s generosity. My pride was separating me from a family dinner. My pride was feeding feelings of entitlement to some quiet time and yet, I couldn’t shake it. I really didn’t even want the chips anymore, but I felt so lost I didn’t know where to turn. It is like the quote above: I was defeated by my own pride. At that point, I was completely helpless and couldn’t advance without Blessed Mama. I didn’t recognize her intervention until I reflected on that quote. Because of her, I now see that I was able to come home with ice cream to celebrate her feast day of the Most Holy Name of the
Blessed Virgin Mary. On her back, I was able to apologize to my husband. I think she picked me up and placed me there. I don’t think I was even able to climb up there…she had to do even that for me. And I am so very, very grateful.
I see how ridiculously weak I am, complaining about chips. But God revealed to me once again my need to be rescued from my own pride, especially in the ordinary, everyday events, and sent in my Mother to help. Thank you, God, for allowing me to see the truth about my weakness and how it calls upon the abyss of Your merciful Love.