I was privileged to have my daughter and her
newborn baby come spend a week at our home. Our goal was to have the preemie
gain back the weight she had lost since birth, and to rid her of the lingering
jaundice. Being a mom I was determined to fix these problems, with the goal of
having my granddaughter thrive during her visit. God had
other plans...
That particular week I was covering for my
coworker, so I was out of the house from 7AM to 5:30PM. Although I
gave clear instructions to daughter and grandpa to make sure the baby sunbathed
in front of a window for good amounts of time to help clear the
jaundice, it seemed to take a few days for this direction to be carried out.
The nursing had turned into a scientific
equation = milliliters + ounces + pumping + syringes. Too many doctors were
involved with each one offering their expert advice on how our little one could
gain weight. It was quite overwhelming for the new mom, the old mom, not to
mention the baby. Her first weigh-in had
her down an ounce. The next weigh-in had her up two ounces. But the in-between
was filled with anxiety, stress, and a few conflicts.
As I watched my daughter struggle with her new
vocation of motherhood, I so wanted to relieve her of her stresses and make all
things right. I wanted to fix her problems so she could once again be happy and
content. But as the week progressed and I failed at achieving these objectives,
I realized I just needed to love her.
It was hard to give over my desire to control
the situation. What helped me was reflecting on how the Blessed Mother accompanied
her Son on the way to Calvary but did not take the Cross from him. I had to beg
Blessed Mom to help me remain quietly in Her arms and to allow Her to love and
guide my daughter, and for Her to take care of the baby.
"Jesus carried the Cross before the presence of His mother. She did not try to carry it with Him physically - she knew that the will of God was otherwise. Did she not want to help Him at that moment? Did she not love Him then? She knew that the best way of helping Christ was in fulfilling the will of God. And God wanted the Mother of His Son to help Him in a way that was spiritual and not physical. She fully respected this will of God." [1]
I now see that with my children, I must let them
too, carry their own crosses. My role is to live in communion with my Blessed
Mother and with Her, to love them with God’s love and to follow His will for
me, and for them. Meanwhile, God will fix their problems in a way much better
than I ever could!
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