Our Lady and St. Juan Diego

Our Lady and St. Juan Diego

Friday, August 24, 2012

Entrustment to Mary = Having No Expectations

I have lived the majority of my life with high expectations. Most of my Christmas celebrations were spent in disappointment due to not receiving the gifts I had expected – even after writing very specific Christmas lists. I grew up in a large family, and there were many expectations to live up to, especially in grade school. The 8 siblings before me had all received the academic excellence award in 8th grade, so I put that expectation on myself to achieve as well.

When I was in my first years of marriage I had some heart aches that were due to me listening to the world’s view on what a marriage is all about. Watching my TV soap opera had me in tears that my husband did not send me flowers or shower me with compliments and love notes. Once I turned off the daytime dramas I had a much more satisfying marital relationship. I realized my expectations were the TV illusions I believed to be reality.[1]

My children suffered my expectations that they should show pristine behavior - especially in Church. When they didn’t meet these expectations I became a frustrated, anxious, and stressed mother.
Entrusting myself to the Blessed Mother and following the spirituality of Communion of life with Christ through His Mother, has helped me to begin to release my expectations. Mary seemingly never had any grand expectations. Just looking at her life – conception through the Holy Spirit, delivering an infant in a stable, watching her Son be abandoned and die a horrible death on a cross – I see that She only expected to love and serve God. She never dictated how her life should go, nor questioned God about the path on which He was leading her.[2]

With Blessed Mom, WE [Bl. Mom and I] have come to see that it is so much easier to allow God to work in all situations, instead of having a premeditative idea of how an event must go, or a person must act, or a situation must play out. With Blessed Mom, WE believe that God works for the good in all things, WE are letting go and even look at negative circumstances with a positive attitude.[3]

Starting to release my expectations has begun to set me free from the disappointments, sadness, and frustrations that come from them being unfulfilled. WE are living life more in the present moment, with God’s grace directing its course. The fear of not living up to the expectations I put on myself and my dear ones is starting to fade, allowing me to be at peace in my Blessed Mom’s arms knowing that God loves me as I am.

[1] Does It Matter What You Watch On TV? 
[2] If you believe that in everything that God does there is an expression of His love, you may not expect special explanations. You may not analyze why sometimes you were particularly honored and at other times divested of everything. This attitude will permit you to accept your own way toward God, since there are varied ways through which we journey toward Him and frequently these ways are incomprehensible for us.”  S.C. Biela, InThe Arms of Mary, 2nd. ed, rev. (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005), 149. Used with permission.
[3] “If you want to be the servant of Christ, it is possible that He may treat you in different ways: Sometimes you will receive ‘easy’ graces, and at other times ‘difficult’ ones. The Lord does not have to explain to His subject why He gives him ‘candies’ or nourishes him with ‘bitterness’.” Ibid, 148.

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