Our Lady and St. Juan Diego

Our Lady and St. Juan Diego

Friday, August 31, 2012

Why I'm Entrusted to Mary, Mother of God - Reason 3: Bad Eyesight

I come from a line with bad eyesight. I’ve needed corrective lenses since I was in grade school and all of my children have followed suit.  I just removed my glasses from my face and the computer screen, only two feet away, turned into a fuzzy blur of colors. To put it into perspective, I zoomed my page to 500% and, while I could then make out where a word starts and stops at that zoom, each letter was still blurry and individual letters were not sharp enough to know for sure which letter it was.

Needless to say, I am extremely grateful for my glasses! Without them, I would live in a world of grayness, I would have constant headaches, and I would miss most of the details of the third dimension!  

Not only do I have poor visual eyesight, but I am practically blind when it comes to my eyes of faith. This is exactly why I am completely and utterly grateful for my entrustment to Blessed Mother! Before my entrustment, I spent my days living as if God didn’t even exist.  All I could “see” was how I or my dear ones felt, and how I or my dear ones were affected by our immediate environment. I then reacted to those events as if I could control them; change them to make us all feel good again. This led to living in a gray world (full of anxiety), suffering constant headaches (following my daily bout with tears), and missing most of the details of the spiritual dimension.

I guess it was no wonder the Good Lord had to pound so heavily on the door of my heart. He pounded with events that just couldn’t be fixed with my will, nor understood with my poor mind. Because of my blindness, I “tripped” over the attempted suicide of one of my close friends, then I “pounded into the wall” of my father-in-law’s sudden death…but it wasn’t until I “fell flat on my face” with my third miscarriage that I went to the Divine Physician to admit my blindness! 

How in need I was for so long, yet trying to deal with it all by myself. I looked like I was a religious person on the outside – attending Church, reading spiritual books – but I was so unaware of God’s Presence in my every day, ordinary and extraordinary events. Thanks to Blessed Mother, my eyes are being opened to His Presence more and more each day. Now, when I stub my toe on a stool I can’t see in the middle of the night because my eye glasses are off, I immediately “reach” for my spiritual glasses and say “Oh, MOM! Be my gratitude for this humiliation!” Together, WE (Blessed Mom and I) say, “All is grace.”[1]

[1] “If we look at the world through the eyes of faith, we will notice that our Creator is present in everything, and that this is the presence of Love – our only authentic reliance.” S.C. Biela, GodAlone Suffices, 3rd. ed. (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2011), 115.

No comments:

Post a Comment