Entrustment to Mary = Being Loved Through a Broken Lamp

Before being introduced to the spirituality of living in communion with Christ through His Blessed Mother, I was an extremely anxious person: over-analyzing, trying to control each situation, trying to avoid unpleasant ones, fearing the worst, feeling insecure and inadequate.  Now, although I am still this way by nature, God has graced me with an awareness that His presence is with me always.[1]  His love permeates EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, although it might not seem as such if I limit my view to that of the way of human thinking.  The spirituality challenges me to see all moments as gifts and helps me to look at the world and events through eyes of faith.  

I’ll share with you an example that stands out.  When we had just two small children, we went on vacation with my family. We rented a condo and when we arrived, my husband started to baby-proof the house.  My daughter was crawling at the time, so he wanted to move this heavy chair in front of the staircase to prevent her from falling.  He didn’t realize that the lamp cord was stuck under the chair, so it fell and broke into pieces.  We didn’t think too much of it, but reported it to the management company as we checked out.  They got back to me, and sent me a bill for the lamp replacement totaling $800.  $800????  Apparently it was a custom lamp from a specialty shop.  I have to say I was unbelievably angry and started lashing out at the management company:   “That’s ridiculous!  Who has custom lamps in rental homes?  There is no way I’m going to pay that much!” ...and on and on I went. 

I called my mom to rant and to justify myself.  She responded with: “Why don’t we look at the spirituality of this event?  How could we look at this through the eyes of faith?  What is God trying to tell you?”  Believe me, I was in no mood to look at this through the eyes of faith.  But – after I cooled off a bit and my pride was a bit more in check - I spoke with a priest and he had a lot of insight for me.  It turned out that this was one of the gentlest ways God could have spoken to me.  It turned out it had nothing to do with the lamp.  Instead, I learned a lot about my own pride, my attachment to money and security and my own sense of entitlement.  It turned out that this was the best investment of $800 I could have ever spent.  And again, God was so very gentle.  I even had the money in my bank account.  This was a turning point for me to begin looking at events through the eyes of faith, and not so much the way the world and human thinking would have me look at them.  All is grace.[2]

Now, as soon as I start to feel the familiar racing of my fearful heart, I am quicker to take a deep breath, remind myself to stay under Blessed Mama’s mantle and seek the peace that comes from knowing God’s loving presence is with me.  I need to call upon the Blessed Mother for openness to seeing the spirituality of events.  With Her, I will NOT rationalize my ways of thinking, but truly discern how God may be speaking to me and what He may be teaching me out of LOVE. And of course, with Her, WE will trust that His ways will bring me much JOY. 

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[1] “Every moment of your life is a moment of meeting with the Presence that is loving you.” (Tadeusz Dajczer, The Gift of Faith, 3^rd. ed. [Fort Collins, CO:  IAMF, 2012], 6.)

[2] “…Everything is a ‘gift’, since always and everywhere God gives you an opportunity.  It is extremely important for you to believe in this constant Presence who manifests Himself in various ways.” (Ibid. 6-7.)