Our Lady and St. Juan Diego

Our Lady and St. Juan Diego

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Entrustment to Mary = Not A Magic Potion

Having written 6 blog posts now and shared how my entrustment to Mary has helped with my sugar addiction, doing chores, surviving the empty nest, having no expectations, seeing God’s unconditional love, and being not afraid, I felt like it was time to come clean. I feel like I need to clarify the fact that my entrustment to Mary has not been a magical potion that has cured me from all of my physical, spiritual, and emotional ills. BUT - that is not Mary’s fault, nor the fault of God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. It is my skewed ego, pride, and
conceit that has me continuously returning to living as if all of the Heavenly beings did not exist, with me trying to live on my own without surrendering to God’s grace.

Before coming to know the spirituality of living in Communion with Christ through the Blessed Mother, I was striving to be PERFECT, and believed once I reached perfection, I would then earn God’s love and the right to be in Heaven - my skewed ego. I have a hard time standing in the truth of “who” I am - a sinner - who will never get over all my weaknesses - my pride. I can’t believe I can be loved without being perfect in thought, mind, and deed – my conceit. But in reality, GOD LOVES ME AS I AM and has given me His Mother, and She carries me in her arms and that is all I need. Although, in my twisted mind I always seem to think I need to be in control of this beautiful truth.

“St. Thérèse of Lisieux briefly said that one has to be like a child and not worry about anything. This one statement contains the whole program of our life: to abandon ourselves to the Lord, that is, not to care about anything because he loves us and takes care of everything. Only then will true peace begin to penetrate our souls and our hearts.” [1]

Surrendering is hard for me. Writing the prior blog posts has helped me see the different areas of my life that I do not want to totally surrender to God and to Blessed Mom. Yet holding on to my addictions, fears, and weaknesses only brings me stress, disappointment, and sadness. I have seen how God’s love can free me. I have felt God’s grace that brings peace and happiness. But why won’t I give up the helm and acknowledge: GOD IS IN CHARGE - I DO NOT NEED TO BE PERFECT TO BE LOVED – JESUS I TRUST IN YOU?

The book The Gift of Faith offers an answer for this, “It can be said that you sin because you are “old,” since being old in spirit closes you off from grace and ties God’s hands. God is young and wants to conjure up the moon for you. Was it not the moon for St. Thérèse of Lisieux when he gave her snow on the day she took her veil? God loves this kind of attitude, the kind that does not see limits, and this is the attitude of a child. He sees no limits on possibilities; he is persevering to the point of folly; he is open to that which is new a child is able to believe.” [2]

So I need to become a child. Yet, I can only do so by standing in the truth and admitting that I cannot become a child on my own. Then I must beg for Blessed Mom to carry me to her Son who can bestow on me the grace to be open to surrendering my “old” self to Him.

Maybe becoming a child will open up my eyes of faith to realizing that my entrustment to Mary is "magical" for without it I would remain in the spirit of the old man which could ultimately lead to my eternal loss of Heaven.

           "The spirit of the old man - contrary to that of the evangelical child - wants to solve 
            problems by itself. And so it exposes itself to the temptations of Satan, it immerses 
            itself in the evil of this world and commits sin." [3]

[1]Tadeusz Dajczer, The Gift of Faith, 3rd. ed. (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2012), 42-43.
[2]Ibid, 66-67.
[3]  S.C. Biela, In The Arms of Mary, 2nd. ed, rev. (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005), 172

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