Entrustment to Mary = Eternal Benefits

I have had a whirlwind of a week. If you remember reading previous blog posts I had changed careers in October. My new job has me working “casual” hours, so a normal week is only 18.5hrs. Occasionally I work longer, but last week I worked full time due to my superior leaving for training. I have never worked full time before and I admit it had me worn out. Then this week I told a friend I would train at her office to help them out while they looked to hire a replacement for their head office position. So I went from “casual” status to overtime - working two jobs for over 10 hours a day for a few days. I discovered I am a wimp. I was completely exhausted. But this exhaustion had me begging for the Lord’s help. I could not depend on my own strength, nor mindset. I kept a mantra going in my head, “Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy”.

It seemed my only rescue would be my friend hiring the person they had scheduled to interview. Being the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes that same day, I begged the Blessed Mother to intercede for us for these requested graces – if it be God’s will, of course. Well, the next morning when I went to their office there was the new hire! I praised Blessed Mom and God for such a great relief. I have continued to train, so I can be their “back up” person, but my body has been less stressed now that all the learning is not only on my shoulders. I have been full of encouragement for the new gal, as she has taken on my anxiety knowing she will be in charge come Monday. And now when I go to my other job, I feel positive about what I have come to learn there in these past four months.

This trial was an interesting lesson for me to see “who I am”. I had thought it was time for me to start working full time to earn more money for my family. But as soon as God gave me the chance, I became a wreck. I liked the fact that my weakness led me into begging mode, being able to see I can do nothing without heavenly graces. I appreciated the fact that I also saw that being able to have extra time for my family and my husband all these years has been a very special benefit from God. I used to complain that my 15 year run at an office job had “no benefits”. Maybe in the world’s eyes it didn’t, as it offered no paid vacation, nor pension plan. But now I see that God gave me the benefit of being flexible, and in doing so I was able to be present to my family, husband, and spiritual life. During all those years I was able to attend daily Mass, retreats, and Church devotions without work interference. God knowing best, bestowed eternal benefits. I thank Him for allowing me to “see” this now, and for giving me the grace to understand temporal benefits will never bring the peace and joy that comes from His eternal ones.

"A cry of gratitude comes forth from the depth of a heart that is full of awe before the reality of God's bestowal." S.C. Biela, TheTwo Pillars, (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2006), 7.

"God desires to liberate us from this torment of possessiveness, from seeking support in everything that is insecure, temporary and unsettling. He points out to us the path of poverty, which is the only path on which we can find peace and freedom."
S.C. Biela, OpenWide the Door to Christ, (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005), 9.