Our Lady of Guadalupe, My Queen

When I get overwhelmed, or start to experience feelings of stress, even when there is nothing to worry about, I remember the words of Our Lady to St. Juan Diego back in the year 1531...words that I am sure she wants each of us to hear and know she is saying them all of us:

"Listen. Put it into your heart, my smallest child, that the thing that frightened you, the thing that afflicted you is nothing:

Do not let it disturb you...

Am I not here, I who am your mother?

Are you not under my shadow and protection?

Am I not the source of your joy?

Are you not in the hollow of my mantle, in the crossing of my arms?

Do you need something more?"

Today is the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, December 12, 2015.  I desire for all my dear ones to come to know this Amazing Queen who holds them in her Immaculate Heart. I want to shout to all the world: "Let her love you!"

Knowing her love is the perfect way to begin the Jubilee of Mercy ~ for it was Jesus' dying wish for me to "Behold, your mother" (Jn 19:27) as He beheld her when He was placed in her womb, and born into her arms that first Christmas.

Happy Advent, everyone!

Entrustment to Mary = A Joyful Home

Over the weekend, my son was invited to enjoy the afternoon and spend the night with his cousin.  When he returned the next day, he shared about all the fun activities and yummy food that they enjoyed, and I was happy he had a good time with his relatives. That is, until he hinted that he would prefer living at their house, with them, over our home, and us.  Ouch.  Now, before you might think badly of my son, know that his Control Freak of a mother encouraged him to be open with his feelings.  I knew as I was asking him that I was also asking for trouble, and for a quick wounding of my ego.  Sure enough, even though I understood what he was saying and why he was saying it, I wanted to rescue my pride.  I wanted to (and did, to some degree) rationalize to myself and to him why their home environment might appear to be better, but that the grass wasn’t necessarily greener. 

The truth, though, was that I had been praying for more peace and joy in our home for a long while.  The noise and chaos drives me crazy, and because I am so darn responsible, all the activities and school projects stress me out.  I am so overwhelmed that my temper is short and often times I unfairly lash out at my son.  OR hold too high of expectations.  OR micro-manage his schoolwork.  OR nag him about how inefficiently he does his chores.  Of course he enjoyed the laid back personalities of his aunt and uncle!  Yes, I can rationalize to myself that they might have been trying their best to make sure he enjoyed himself, but perhaps not.  Perhaps they are like that all the time.  It doesn’t really matter, because if I stand in truth, I know God is asking me to allow more of HIM and His joy in our home.  I must beg Blessed Mother, Queen of Peace, to reign in our home. 

Now, in my mind I want to be strong and organized, while remaining gentle and loving and present to my loved ones.  But according to my track record and my awareness of my personality, this doesn’t work.  I am always so tempted to rely on my own strength (which is non-existent) rather than allow the One to live in me and through me.

So as we celebrate this third Sunday of Advent, I am reminded of the pink candle – JOY!

    Christian faith most fully expresses itself in the joy of discovering the personal love of God, which you can depend on and to which you can entrust yourself.  Faith experienced in this way eradicates the attitude of the dramatic fatalism toward one’s own evil, which our contrition can change into a “happy fault.”  Christian joy flowing from faith is like a stream of God’s love.  It is faith that tells you to smile at God, to be joyful in His love.  Then you should look at yourself, whom you take much too seriously, from a certain distance and with a humorous perspective.  The virtue of humor lets you defeat the poison of sadness with which Satan tries to permeate your soul.  This virtue of humor causes you to stop worrying about yourself and allows you to live a life of joy flowing from faith. (Tadeusz Dajzcer, The Gift of Faith, 3rd ed. (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2012), 99-100).

So if I read that right, I can ask Blessed Mother to be contrite with me and for me, and allow her to rescue me from my sadness over my temper with my children.  I will not be a perfect mother, but I can bless my children by being a channel of grace and of the pure love of their Heavenly Mother by allowing her to carry me.  I can trust that God, in His infinite wisdom, has paired my soul with the particular souls of each of my children for our greatest good.  Yes, this is reason for joy.  The fact that I am being reminded over and over how very much God loves me as I am is cause for great joy.  So I am grateful for the conversation with my son, as it allowed me to stand in truth and be reminded of how very much I need God.  I am reminded that I must fall to my knees with empty hands and simply ask for the grace to respond to His Love (in the arms of Our mother, of course!).  

Entrustment to Mary = Jesus Came To Rescue Me

I grew up in a family that put up Christmas decorations during Advent, listened to Christmas music starting the day after Thanksgiving and turned it off the day after Christmas. I continued this tradition with my own family. I usually spend most of Advent worrying about what I haven’t done, instead of contemplating “Who” is to come. During the Christmas Mass I end up looking at the nativity scene realizing I did not think much about baby Jesus during the 4 weeks prior to His birth. I allow the world’s spin on what the holy day should be trump the suggestions of the Church. I get nostalgic listening to the carols with sadness deep inside me due to unfulfilled expectations of how I believe the Christmas season should have played out. Taking down the decorations usually has me mourning the season, believing it is over - when in actuality it is just beginning.

This year I finally visited with my spiritual director about the melancholy that arises inside every time I hear a Christmas song play. He helped me see that my inability to focus on Jesus during Advent is exactly why Jesus came for me - to rescue me from my skewed faith and my temptations to seek the world’s way. Jesus came for ME. This was something new to my ears. I had never personalized Jesus’ birth like this before. To think that God loves me so much as to send His Son to rescue me. WOW! All of a sudden Advent seemed more hopeful. It became a time of awaiting the Christmas Mass when Jesus would arrive for me.

My entrustment to Mary helped me in this awaiting. Reflecting on her life during Advent, helped me see how she trusted in God’s plan - keeping her focus on the Son to be born - while not contesting the awful conditions and trials that came her way. When I wanted to complain that I had too much to do in preparing for Christmas – her life brought to light that Jesus - not gifts/cookies/cards/decorations/etc. - is the reason for the season. I found comfort imagining how she carries me in her arms, just as she carried the infant Jesus.

It was a special Christmas this year. Every time I started to succumb to the sadness I would remember that Jesus was coming to rescue me and my spirits were lifted. Maybe some readers have felt the same, and can also join in this good news – that God has sent His Son to rescue you, too! Knowing this truth certainly brings peace and joy, and a blessed hope for the New Year to come!

Entrustment To Mary = Surrendering To God

I find it hard to surrender to God’s will, as I am still battling my will be done. [1]   For example, our daughter just delivered our first grandbaby. My husband and I took a 2 day car trip to be with them for the delivery. We arrived 5 days before her due date in hopes that she would deliver early. We wanted as much time with the baby as possible. Day after day went by with no grandbaby. We would take long walks hoping to start labor. As we walked we prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet letting God know we trusted in His timing. But then afterward we would go straight into discussions on other ways we could try to put her into labor. We even scanned the internet for clues. We discovered that eggplant parmesan is a good meal for pregnant women to eat to induce labor.    

                                                                                                          

I saw how hard it was for me to be patient and allow God to be in charge and to await our grandbaby’s birth according to His plan not ours. Yet God’s ways are so much better than ours. Looking back I realize how special it was to be with our daughter and son-in-law during that time prior to the birth.  Also, God had her go into labor the night before her husband had to leave for a three day field training. So he was able to be with her during the whole labor/delivery process. And, we grandparents had a full week of good slumber before experiencing the wakeful nights of a newborn. 

God’s plans are always the best – yet I easily forget this beautiful truth. This is where my entrustment to Mary helps me. Mary was always trusting God’s plans and surrendered her whole being to Him -  never taking back or desiring control of a situation.[2] By admitting my lack of abandonment to God and allowing Blessed Mom to guide me - WE can start trusting and surrendering together. I know growing in abandonment to God may be a long process for me, as I have lived most of my life fighting it. But with Blessed Mom leading me I know I can trudge along the right path, all the while being loved as I am. I anticipate God will soon give me conditions to practice this surrendering as currently Advent is speeding by and Christmas is approaching with the temptation to fall into worldly expectations for this holy season.

[1] "The essence of Christianity is the continual saying to God, Thy will be done. The Blessed Mother continually repeated these words to God." Tadeusz Dajczer, The Gift of Faith, 3rd. ed. (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2012), 122. Used with permission.

[2] "During our storms and our trials of faith, we must also never forget about the continuous presence of Mary who is close to us as the Mother of our abandonment to God. Let us ask her to allow us to share in her abandonment to God, so that we may stop trusting ourselves, things, and people, and that we may perceive the continuous presence of her son who is close to us and is our only security. We ask Mary that, following her example, we trust exclusively in the Lord: Mother of Great Abandonment, I offer myself to you without reservation – to the end." Ibid, 125.