Entrustment to Mary = Speaking Up About the Gift of Blessed Mama

Our parish women’s group offered a “Morning with Mary” last weekend.  A May crowning Mass, followed by brunch, a speaker, faith sharing and a living rosary.  I have been wanting to get to know more women from my parish and as you know, Mary is near and dear to my heart!  So, off I went to spend some time in prayer and fellowship. 

It was a blessed morning, and a lovely lady invited me to join her table (a big deal for someone shy like me).  The speaker did a wonderful job in sharing a more “real” and human Mary, a mother available to us all, rather than a distant and lifeless figure.  I very much appreciated the speaker’s thoughts, and many women were moved in seeing Her in a different light.  But I couldn’t help being so very grateful for being previously introduced to an ever more intimate relationship with our Blessed Mama. "To love Mary means to imitate her and follow her because she is the one who goes before us, the one who is an example of our faith." (Tadeusz Dajczer, The Gift of Faith, 3^rd ed. [Ft. Collins, CO:  IAMF, 2012], 116). 

But – this spirituality of living in communion with Christ through His Blessed Mother takes me even further.  She desires that I make room in my heart for only Christ and His will.  Because of my little faith, She carries me in Her arms to lead me more quickly to the love of God.  I am too weak to even imitate Her, but I ask that She live in me, with me and through me.   

The awareness that Mary ‘carries you in her arms’ will enable you to remain in God’s presence with unfaltering faith in His love.  This awareness does not suppose necessarily emotional experiences.  Perhaps in some stages of your interior life you may not feel anything at all, but, in spite of it, this awareness will constitute an essential element of your interior life.  …

However, when, by the will of God, Mary chooses someone as her special instrument, she shows him very clearly how little he is.  She shows him that he finds himself exalted only because she ‘carries him in her arms.’  And so, it is a special grace if you discover the maternal role of Mary in your life. 

Why do you receive this grace?

This is a mystery of God’s election.

But remember, the grace needs a committed response.

You do not receive a talent in order to bury it in the ground.

You must make use of it – in accordance with the will of God–

for your own sanctification and for the sanctification of others.

Because of this, implore Mary that your whole life

may be permeated by the awareness that you are ‘carried by her in her arms.’

(S.C. Biela, In the Arms of Mary, 2^nd ed. rev. [Ft. Collins, CO:  IAMF, 2005], 173).

And so, there I was listening in on the large group sharing and I felt like I needed to share what I knew.  At least a little glimpse.  Being so shy, I had to laugh with God and beg Blessed Mama to help me say something.  If I kept this good news to myself, I felt like I would be wounding the very Love that rescued me.  She helped me raise my hand and a microphone was handed over.  Very simply, She helped me share what a gift it was to know that Mary is more than someone to imitate.  She does carry me, Her weak, shy, little one, so that I will know how very much God loves me.

In discovering this unfathomable love

you will want to respond to Him,

and then you can reach full union with Christ.

                        This is the greatest grace which you can be bestowed with here on earth.

(S.C. Biela, In the Arms of Mary, 2^nd ed. rev. [Ft. Collins, CO:  IAMF, 2005], 179).

Entrustment to Mary = Discovering Christ's Humility

I recently celebrated my 13th anniversary of Entrustment to Mary - an act of consecration to Christ through Mary that I made with my confessor totally in service to the Church. The anniversary date is always something very special to me. It reminds me of God’s Divine Mercy and Love and fills me with gratitude that I am His beloved daughter. Having spent 13 years walking the path of this spirituality, I have many concrete examples of how it has helped me live more peacefully. Longanimity is no longer a word that confuses me, but a fruit the Spirit has made a regular part of my diet. I take no credit, other than to acknowledge Blessed Mother’s perseverance and patience in my life.

I have learned to anticipate gifts as the anniversary approaches. I never know what kind of treat I will get - corporal, spiritual or mental. This year, I was given such a “sweet” it brought me to tears.  A friend was sharing with me a conversation she had with an acquaintance. This fellow Catholic was vocalizing concerns about receiving the Blessed Blood from a shared Chalice. It was just short of repulsive to the person and so this person had made up his mind not to receive for fear of germs.  My friend, however, saw it differently. She shared how she believes Jesus purifies the germs on the way to our lips.

It is hard to explain what happened to me in listening to this story, but it absolutely rocked my world. I have not had trouble receiving my Lord from the Chalice. I am an Extraordinary Minister at my parish, and I make sure I wipe the Chalice well when I am in that service. But this was a matter of faith. In and through faith, I took a “deeper” look at the humility of Christ. HE comes in contact with my neighbors “germs” and purifies them before HE then touches all my “germs” ~ and so how can I fear? Every Mass this lesson is taught, and I was closed to it completely. But, on my day of Entrustment, Blessed Mother (MOM) opened my ears and heart to this truth.

The example of the Body and Blood of Christ purifying the Chalice can be applied in so many areas of my life. For example, when I catch myself yelling at my kids due to my impatience and self-absorption, I can immediately make an act of contrition - praying to be immersed in the Eucharistic Sacrifice. Or, when I am unjustly treated, I can remember Christ’s humility - realizing He makes Himself present to my neighbor and to me in my neighbor. Focusing on Jesus’ humility can allow me to desire more humility in my own life, and often leads me to beg for closer union with Him through Mary. Most importantly, it reminds me that humility is the Christian road. Christ reaches out and touches my sin - and in so doing purifies me from it. In faith, I see now why we must run to the fountain of His Mercy, allowing it to wash us clean.

One of the spiritualities of the New Evangelization is called the Families of Nazareth Movement (FNM). It’s role is to help its members to grow in humility so that they can be more open to God’s Redeeming Love. Since it is so hard to believe we are loved as we are, the FNM members turn to Blessed Mother who lived that truth (that She was purely loved as She was). Obeying Christ’s dying words from the Crucifix, “Behold, your mother,” (Jn 19:27) its members allow Her to work in their lives to more openly see who they are - who GOD loves. Ultimately, a FNM member will be so joyfully overcome with God’s love that he/she will want to spread that love to all those around him/her. This is how FNM members serve the Church...becoming instruments of God’s love in the world.  

"God falls in love with the posture of humility precisely because He can pour out the ocean of His mercy into the humble spirit." (S.C. Biela, Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005), 31.

Free reflections on faith are available at the In the Arms of Mary Foundation website that deal with the themes we blog about. There is a 5-reflections series called “Behold, Your Mother.” I strongly encourage it for anyone desiring to grow in deeper communion of life with Christ through His Mother.

Entrustment to Mary = Benefiting from My Misery

I was in a really bad mood on Monday. The mood just “was” and no logic was going to explain it or change it. I was presented with a choice – allow it to affect my whole day and the day of all those in my path, or beg for graces.

I started off allowing it to affect my day and the day of my 3 year old. I was quick to put the blame on her that we would be arriving late to Holy Mass. I was annoyed to go to Mass because it takes effort to get the Little One ready, in the car, fed and rested enough to go. She was her usual slow self.  But, it wasn’t her fault that we were getting in the car late – it was mine because of my priorities 1) email, 2) Facebook, and 3) vanity. All turned into “non-negotiables” when, in the light of faith, they had nothing to do with preparing my heart or my daughter in time for Mass.

On the way into the church, I knew I was going to have a battle with the Little One about where to sit. She likes to sit behind the glass looking into the church. I don’t usually want to sit there because I feel separated from the experience, as if I am watching a TV.  But, since we were late, I decided we would sit there, but I wanted the Little One to know it was MY decision, not hers, so I held her extra tight and fought her desire to get down. That wasn't practical, so I let her down due to the squirming. She then got herself situated and wanted back up into my arms. What was my response to her request of arms outstretched? “No! You wanted to get down so you stay there.” She was so persistent. But so was I. I even had the gall to put my two hands behind my back. She climbed onto my lap and whispered into my ear “I want you to wrap your arms around me!”

Oh bother! How obstinate I was being! I could see plainly that Blessed Mother was talking to me through the Little One.  What a scandal to not immediately respond to my Little One by quickly holding her tight! How will she believe in the spirituality of communion of life with Christ through Mary if I don’t love her immediately when she seeks that love?! It was a true battle in my soul. I was helpless. I begged Blessed Mother to soften my heart. I was looking at the Tabernacle at the front of the church and hearing Jesus asking me “Do you believe I can heal you?” I was responding “Help my unbelief! Oh Mary, be my belief!” And, truly, only by the grace of God and Mary’s faithfulness to me, I put my arms around the Little One and held her tight. She stayed there most of the Mass.

I believe that this whole situation was provided to me as a grace. Because of my communion of life with Christ though Mary, I am able to see who I am. The bad mood, the Little One’s persistence, the awareness of my horrible priorities, and the obstinate hardness of heart…these are all my miseries. Mary lets me see the truth of my misery so that I have a reason to await Jesus’ Coming. I have a reason to need Him – and that is going to make this Christmas all the more special.  

The Families of Nazareth Movement Charism/Spirituality: "By the grace of the Holy Spirit, through Our Blessed Mother, we aren't afraid to present to God our weaknesses and misery. In fact, we benefit from our weaknesses because they help us to more fully experience God's Redemptive Mercy, especially in and through the Eucharist and Confession. Surrendering to God's will through Mary, we entrust ourselves to her so that she will lead us to humility, trust, and total obedience to God. In her arms, we can become Eucharistic People in order to receive and spread His Mercy to others with childlike trust. We recognize that the graces received from spiritual direction and frequent participation in the sacraments and in retreats assist us in this."

Entrustment to Mary = Growing in Contrition

When I was 14 I had a birthday party with all my girl classmates. We were playing one of those steal-the-gift games and it was timed, so that when the timer would go off we got to keep whatever gift we had at the moment. There were lots of things to choose from, but a battle was waged over a pack of cool stickers. There were 3 of us fighting over it. I had a chance to steal the stickers, and then in utter greed and coveting, I secretly took the timer and pushed it forward so that it buzzed while I was holding the prized possession.

Two years later, I was going through my sticker book and found the evidence. I was horrified by my actions – how could I have been such a thief? I remember shedding tears of what I thought was contrition. I wanted to make amends, so I got an envelope and put all the stickers remaining, plus a few of my prized favorite stickers, and anonymously mailed them to the person who had them before me at the birthday party. I think I went to confession too…although, to be honest, I can’t remember if I did.

Now, let’s fast forward 15 years. By then I had found the spirituality of communion of life with Mary and was being formed in it by mentors. One day I was sharing my story of contrition with someone who was deep in the spirituality. I think I was somewhat proud of how I had “made amends” when I was a teenager. The mentor, loving me as a fellow Christian, and looking at it all through the eyes of faith, was able to help me see that when I thought I was “making amends,” I was really just scrubbing the outside of my whitewashed tomb[1]. I was trying to cover up my pride. I wasn’t really contrite at all back then – I wasn’t sad that I offended Christ; I shed tears because my ego was wounded.

What an eye opener that was! My Christian friend didn’t stop at helping me see this deeper truth, he made sure I was also aware that this is who God loves! He loved the little girl who was selfish, and prideful! Blessed Mother, through my mentor, wanted to convince me first and foremost of God’s love and his mercy. It became a joyful time to go to confession soon after to have my Lord wash a portion of the inside of my tomb!

Reflecting on this story today – another 10 years has gone by – I am left in awe that the LORD planted that story in my heart to bring up to the right person, who could help me see the real truth. I see now how Jesus had to wait until I was aware of Blessed Mother’s arms before revealing it to me because only then could I hear it without despairing, or running away from him.[2] So, now, I am filled with gratitude, that Blessed Mother is sharing her faith with me, her acceptance of God’s mercy with me, her desire for my communion of life with Christ with me.  This is amazing!

I am very excited that the Holy Father has proclaimed the Year of Faith. I have learned over the years that there is always something more to know about my faith. What new things does God have in store for me during this special time in the Church? WE, Blessed Mama and I, await the graces together!!

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[1] Cf. Mt 23:7

[2] “In [Mary’s] arms…you may experience peacefulness and even happiness when God reveals the contents of your whitewashed tomb to you in a fuller light.” (S.C. Biela, Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock [Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005],29)

Entrustment to Mary = Falling in Love with Her

This past week I was pleasantly surprised by a somewhat unexpected visit from my spiritual director (a priest). He was with some family members, who were visiting from out of the country, showing them the sites of our area.  During their visit, we were blessed by private Masses, along with one wonderful evening of having our new house blessed, followed by dessert. 

My children were so pleased to go to room to room, following this beloved priest, as he sprinkled holy water in each of their rooms, along the stairs, in every nook and cranny they suggested.  After we settled back into the living room, my 3-year-old daughter snuggled up to this priest, which took me by surprise.  This is the daughter who loves her personal space.  This particular daughter is not particularly affectionate.  This is the same daughter who usually wipes off people’s kisses and frowns at anyone trying to talk to her! 

And so I had to wonder:  “How much of this has to do with the priest?  Or is it really and truly Blessed Mother she recognizes with him and in him?”  I really felt that she was snuggling up to Blessed Mother!  This priest strives to live in communion with our Blessed Mother.  This priest directs me on how to live in communion of life with Christ through His Blessed Mother.  And so I was convinced my little one sensed Her presence. 

During dessert, Father shared some photos he had taken during their excursions of the day.  His favorite photo was taken at a church, which so happened to be where my husband’s parents had met and later married over 50 years ago.  In the picture, he was standing beside the church’s statue of Our Lady.  And he was beaming.  He raved about how beautiful She was.  His pure joy over his Mother made me look at my own relationship with Her.  It challenged me to look at how much (or how little, really) I value my relationship with Her.  At times I hold Her at arm’s length, appreciating the gift She is in my mind, but not fully embracing this truth in my heart.  By the end of the evening, I was pleasantly uncomfortable with the awareness that I waste this gift at times.  I was grateful that this awareness was brought to my attention, and that I was also inspired with a desire to live more fully in communion with Her – not so much as an idea, but as a reality.

Today we celebrate Her birthday, and as I shared this news with my children this morning, I again reminded myself of my desire to fall in love with Her.  As S.C. Biela writes in Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock, “The easiest and surest way to arrive at falling in love with God is to fall in love with Mary first.  When you fall in love with Her, you will want to disappear and to die to yourself like She did.

…Likewise, you will then desire to be incapable of your own action, and instead you will desire to fulfill God’s will, just as Mary did.” [1]

Happy Birthday, Blessed Mama!

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[1]  S. C. Biela, Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock, 1^st ed. (Fort Collins, CO:  IAMF, 2005), 63.  Used with permission.

Entrustment to Mary = Being Loved Through a Broken Lamp

Before being introduced to the spirituality of living in communion with Christ through His Blessed Mother, I was an extremely anxious person: over-analyzing, trying to control each situation, trying to avoid unpleasant ones, fearing the worst, feeling insecure and inadequate.  Now, although I am still this way by nature, God has graced me with an awareness that His presence is with me always.[1]  His love permeates EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, although it might not seem as such if I limit my view to that of the way of human thinking.  The spirituality challenges me to see all moments as gifts and helps me to look at the world and events through eyes of faith.  

I’ll share with you an example that stands out.  When we had just two small children, we went on vacation with my family. We rented a condo and when we arrived, my husband started to baby-proof the house.  My daughter was crawling at the time, so he wanted to move this heavy chair in front of the staircase to prevent her from falling.  He didn’t realize that the lamp cord was stuck under the chair, so it fell and broke into pieces.  We didn’t think too much of it, but reported it to the management company as we checked out.  They got back to me, and sent me a bill for the lamp replacement totaling $800.  $800????  Apparently it was a custom lamp from a specialty shop.  I have to say I was unbelievably angry and started lashing out at the management company:   “That’s ridiculous!  Who has custom lamps in rental homes?  There is no way I’m going to pay that much!” ...and on and on I went. 

I called my mom to rant and to justify myself.  She responded with: “Why don’t we look at the spirituality of this event?  How could we look at this through the eyes of faith?  What is God trying to tell you?”  Believe me, I was in no mood to look at this through the eyes of faith.  But – after I cooled off a bit and my pride was a bit more in check - I spoke with a priest and he had a lot of insight for me.  It turned out that this was one of the gentlest ways God could have spoken to me.  It turned out it had nothing to do with the lamp.  Instead, I learned a lot about my own pride, my attachment to money and security and my own sense of entitlement.  It turned out that this was the best investment of $800 I could have ever spent.  And again, God was so very gentle.  I even had the money in my bank account.  This was a turning point for me to begin looking at events through the eyes of faith, and not so much the way the world and human thinking would have me look at them.  All is grace.[2]

Now, as soon as I start to feel the familiar racing of my fearful heart, I am quicker to take a deep breath, remind myself to stay under Blessed Mama’s mantle and seek the peace that comes from knowing God’s loving presence is with me.  I need to call upon the Blessed Mother for openness to seeing the spirituality of events.  With Her, I will NOT rationalize my ways of thinking, but truly discern how God may be speaking to me and what He may be teaching me out of LOVE. And of course, with Her, WE will trust that His ways will bring me much JOY. 

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[1] “Every moment of your life is a moment of meeting with the Presence that is loving you.” (Tadeusz Dajczer, The Gift of Faith, 3^rd. ed. [Fort Collins, CO:  IAMF, 2012], 6.)

[2] “…Everything is a ‘gift’, since always and everywhere God gives you an opportunity.  It is extremely important for you to believe in this constant Presence who manifests Himself in various ways.” (Ibid. 6-7.)

Entrustment to Mary = Different than Imitating Mary

I was at a retreat this summer and the theme was about Blessed Mother and her role in our life. The priest drew our attention to the words of Jesus Christ while on the Cross, “Behold, your mother” (Jn 19:27). He mentioned how these words have the potential to be understood deeper and deeper every time we hear them. If we seek, then we shall find the deeper meaning.

Imitation of Mary

This same priest gave one of the most helpful analogies I have heard shared to help understand what entrustment to Mary means. He said to imagine a mother with two children. The first child is very brave, while the second one is not.  Both children watch as their mother enters a dark room. The brave child sees her enter and thinks, “Since my mother can do it, then I can do it too.” That child desires to and is able to follow the example of the mother, and enter the dark room. This is the example of imitating Mary.

Communion with Mary

Meanwhile, the other child thinks, “Yes, I saw my mother enter that dark room, but I am too afraid to go by myself. I will only be able to go in if my mother is present with me.” This child desires to enter the dark room, since his mother is there, but cannot follow her on his own. He needs the awareness of the presence of his mother to enter. He prefers to say “WE (mom and I) are going into the room together.” This is the example of entrustment to Mary or, another way to say it, communion of life with Christ through Mary.

The above analogy speaks volumes to me. I am definitely the cowardly child who wants/needs Blessed Mother’s presence in my life! Sometimes, I am not even brave enough to desire to follow her. That is why I beg for the graces that She will carry me. I like to envision myself as a child on her back, in a papoose sleeping while She carries me through all the adventures of my days. Therefore,  I can say “WE (Blessed Mother and I) are together caring for my children, washing the dishes, reading Facebook posts, going to Holy Mass, receiving the Holy Eucharist, talking to my ‘difficult neighbors,’ mourning the loss of my father, loving my husband, etc., etc. ”

Since being on that retreat, I have been contemplating the significance of being carried in the arms of Mary. It is easier to remember that I am carried the more I remember how truly God and Mary love me. In the example above, the two children wanted to follow their mother. Why? Because they were convinced of her love! They beheld their mom and wanted to be with her.

How much more crucial it is in my life to desire to be with the Blessed Mother! The more I desire this, the more She has been convincing me that I am loved as I am. The awareness of being loved as I am is helping me to be more and more grateful for Mary’s presence in my life. It is a lovely circle of discovering God’s mercy and love.

I’m curious – for those reading this blog – which child do you relate to most? Please leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!

Why I’m Entrusted to Mary, Mother of God - Reason 2

Because, on my own, I won't run for last! 

An expression used by those trying to live the spirituality of communion of life with Christ through Mary is “I’m running for the last place.”[1] There was an image drawn to depict the saying which shows this very happy runner going downhill passing three very serious, tired uphill runners. 

I'm running for the last place!

When I first tried to intellectualize this expression I really struggled. I couldn’t figure out what it meant – running for last place…is that even possible? And what seemed the most impossible for me was that I would do it smiling.  Discovering my misery before my entrustment equated to self-focused crying, not smiling.  

Blessed Mother is carrying me there.

That’s where Mary, my Beloved Mommy, has helped me so much! Because She is carrying me, I don’t have to rely on myself to pick the right direction – up, down, left, right…is that good, bad,  right or wrong?  She instead tries to keep me focused on the truth that God loves me as I am--the loser and the bungler, or as my ego really rejects – the LAST!

Realizing I’m the last, and rejoicing in this truth is the goal (cf. 2 Cor 9:12). The events in my life are helping me achieve this goal. Before entrustment if I saw my misery, I either hated myself for it or I saved my pride by blaming others, or the circumstances, for my ill behavior. Since entrustment, when I see my misery, WE (Mary and I) desire to remember that this is who God loves: a sinner in need of His mercy.[2]

For example, a couple of days ago I was reading to the Little One the story of St. Thérèse the Little Flower. In it there was a passage about how St. Thérèse, when she was a toddler, threw temper tantrums. It mentioned that her mother was loving and patient with her and helped her to desire to please Jesus.[3] I immediately started dreaming of how I could teach my child this way too. No sooner had these dreams come to my mind, the Little One locked herself into my bedroom where she was going to take a nap. I reacted by screaming like a lunatic for her to unlock the door. My outrageous screaming (or should I say temper tantrum?) didn’t put the proper fear of God into her, but the fear of her mother’s wrath! So, of course, she didn’t open the door. I was totally insulted – proving how much I want to be first. "Loving and patient," I was not.  Blessed Mother allowed me to experience who I am.[4] In a very gentle way, She wanted to show me that I need her to teach me to desire to please Jesus!

Who am I? I am Blessed Mother’s beloved bungler. What did this event help me to understand? That I need a Savior. It made me desire that Christ would live in me. And for that WE are truly grateful!

S.C. Biela helped me to understand this in his book God Alone Suffices:

This process of purification is described in the words of Jesus: “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me!” (Mk 8:34). Indeed, we have to deny ourselves in order to undergo the process of purification from our pride of good impressions about ourselves. This indicates the need to take up the cross of truth about ourselves, and imitate Jesus so that we will desire to be the last–to run for the last place here on earth.³²

We cannot forget that Jesus, though being first, became the last. In this way, he has shown us how we should relate toward everything. In this way, he has shown us what the spirit of this world offers us, and he has revealed to us our attachments to our own ‘perfection’. He took upon himself our wretchedness and the sinfulness of our attachments. He waits, however, for us to come after him so as to fully take advantage of the sacrifice that he offered for us. He expects that in order to imitate him we will try to lose everything and everybody, which includes the prideful notions that we are good.

This race for the last place on earth is meant to shape us into persons who will consciously and voluntarily assume and admit, in the posture of the poor in spirit, that we are nothing and that we await everything from God. It is only such a person who will try to desire this one thing: that he will not live, but that Christ will live in him. In this way the grain can gradually die.

³² Charles de Foucauld, in his notes from the retreat in Nazareth (November 5-15, 1897), says: “For me, to seek always the last of the last places.” This confession is as an echo of a sentence which he had heard soon after his conversion during a sermon given by his spiritual director, Father Huvelin: “Jesus has so taken the last place that no one has ever been able to wrest it from him.” Father Huvelin, Sermons, March 1887 quoted by Jean-Jacques Autier, Charles de Foucauld, trans. Julia Shirek Smith (San Francisco, CA Ignatius Press, 1999), 152, 105.

S.C. Biela, God Alone Suffices, 3rd. ed. (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2011), 108.  Used with permission.

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[1] Rev. Andrzej Buczel, Ph.D, (1951-1994) co-founder of the Families of Nazareth Movement.

[2] “Why do we not truly lay our life before Him, including our incapability to believe and to pray? This is already an act of worship: when we truly say “Kyrie eleison,” when we truly cry out to God from the depth of our wretchedness, this is acknowledgement of what we are, and who He is; it is the adoration for His glory.” Translated from Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, Dogma und Verkündigung (Dogma and Preaching), p. 123 f.

[3] Cf. Marie Baudouin-Croix, St. Thérèse of Lisieux And the “little way” of love (Boston, MA: Pauline Books & Media, 1999), 11.

[4] In case you are wondering, I was able to unlock the door within a short time, and no physical harm came to the Little One.