“Amen, I say
to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the
kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest
in the kingdom of heaven” (Mt 18:3-4).
This week a
friend of mine experienced the death of her 28 year old niece. I was leaving to
go to the funeral when the Little One asked me where I was headed. I told her who
died, and how this person was given her new eyes! The eyes that get to see Mary
and Jesus. Immediately I heard her repeating my description to her sister with
great joy. The Little One and I often talk about how special it’s going to be
when we get those “new eyes”!
Obviously,
when I’m talking to the Little One I’m referring to literally seeing Jesus and
Mary. But today I was realizing that I could start to see Jesus and Mary with
the eyes I have, if I just let MOM (Blessed Mother) share with me Her eyes of faith and hope and
love. For example, am I seeking Jesus in
my neighbor? My children? My spouse? More often I forget this and instead I am
annoyed with my neighbor, children or spouse. I see them as obstacles to my
will being accomplished. Oh, how blind I am! But, when looking with Mary, WE see they are actually the instruments
in God’s hands to help me fulfill HIS will.
Over the last
few weeks I've had the crazy experience to, on the one hand, be gifted with
tremendous hope and joy when describing things to the Little One and to others
in my life, while on the other hand, be so self-absorbed. I am addicted to Facebook, Ruzzle (a game app),
and a TV show on Netflix. These “little” distractions take up a good part of my
day by being in my thoughts (awaiting the next chance to watch), in my actions
(not hearing anyone around me as I play the 2 minute game or while I look at FB),
and in what I fail to do (deciding one more round of Ruzzle instead of starting
dinner on time, or one more show instead of going to bed on time).
St. John of
the Cross, in Maxims and Counsels writes, “The entire world is not worthy of a man’s thought, for this
belongs to God alone; any thought, therefore, not centered on God is stolen
from Him.” I am a thief! But,
what a grace that WE can see this truth! Blessed Mother has been using this
reality to put a desire in my heart for the Holy Eucharist, to beg to be washed
clean by the Blood of Christ.
I was sharing
this recently with my spiritual father and once more, to a deeper level, I was
brought to the awareness of how absolutely wonderful it is to desire communion
with Christ through Blessed Mother. I
was reminded that our persistent desire to be united with Christ will
eventually overcome even our sinfulness. Like St. Augustine, my heart is restless,
and that restlessness has me searching…and the short cut to my search is the
Arms of Mary whose desire for my good is so much greater than my own desire.
This is why I am hopeful in the midst of my addictions. My perseverance stems
from Mary constantly reminding me that one day I will have “new eyes” and I
will have to face my Savior. She wants me to trust in His Mercy today, with what
I can see, so that when I die, and am shown all that I missed along the way, I
will automatically call out to His Mercy and live with Him for eternity! I am Mary's little, beloved daughter, who desires to one day enter the kingdom of heaven.
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