We've been hearing a lot about “fasting” recently, but I want to talk about expanding my
diet. A friend and I were recently
talking about how picky appetites can be. It didn’t take me long to have the
vision of a recent family dinner where a child’s plate was headed to the sink
with half-eaten vegetables on it. The
Little One’s chant “I don’t want that” is heard more times than I like when we
are offering her delicious and healthy choices. It made me reflect on how easy
it is in this world of food-centered entertainment to develop a finicky
appetite. Recently, the Little One was
having a melt down after we were at the park because she was legitimately
hungry. However, when I offered her the only food I could find in my car (a bag
of dried bananas and almonds), it was refused. The tears and “suffering” were
preferred to the unappetizing snack.
This sharing with my friend got me thinking in a different
direction. I started to see just how picky I am when it comes to the moods and
actions of my dear ones. There are days I prefer locking myself in my room in tears
and “suffering” over being “treated” to my Little One’s refusal to obey me! Oh, and don’t think of serving me a
teen attitude of laziness, or an exhausted husband after a long day at work who
goes to take a nap instead of “eat off my plate” of overtired Little One. I inevitably
chant, “I don’t want that!” when God serves me the daily food for my soul.
I’d rather have some “comfort food,” like a child’s quick
obedience or a sparkling bathroom. I want an order of “yes, Mom” and “I like to
share” with a side of “pleases” and don’t forget the “thank yous.” No, I don’t
think I’ll choose an “I don’t want to go to Mass” or an “I’ll do my homework
later, Mom, after my 3 straight hours of t.v.” snack. Yes, I’m picky. If you
serve me what I don’t like, I might
just chew you up, and spit you out for it! Oh bother – I really am
self-absorbed.
I was sharing my struggles with self-absorption and the
various sins it was leading me into with my spiritual father when he reminded
me about Blessed Mother’s “appetite.” She ISN’T picky. She loves me when I am
faithful; she loves me when I am unfaithful.
She stays with me when I get moody, when I find myself angry, or when I
am joyful and upbeat. She ISN’T picky. Since my willful entrustment to Christ
through Mary, I have been discovering more quickly and deeply just how amazing
God’s love is. He knows who I am, and He
loves me as I am. It is this Love that is pushing me to desire to expand my
diet and be more conscious of and grateful for the “meals” my Lord
prepares for me, or allows to be prepared for me, through the daily events with
my dear ones. I entrust these “meals” to Blessed Mother that WE may be less
picky with my dear ones, and love them
as they are!
“Spiritual childlikeness will enable
you to thank Mary for loving you in spite of your misery. It is true that the
interior of the whitewashed tomb is filthy and abominable. However, it is also
true that you are loved not because of some kind of imaginary perfection or
cleanliness of soul, but because you are a child – the Heavenly Father’s child. He
will always accept you. When you throw yourself into His arms with childlike
trust, He will never despise you or abandon you.” (S.C. Biela, Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock [Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005], 66.)
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