Entrustment to Mary = Consolation in the Dental Chair

Through Baptism it is as if a new, supernatural organism is grafted into human nature.  A new life is grafted into one’s life.  If a scientist were able to successfully transplant animal life into something that previously had only a vegetative life (for example, a plant), the world would be greatly amazed…..Meanwhile, this transplantation brought about it in the sacrament of Baptism is, beyond all imagination, much more significant that the above mentioned fictional transplantation of a new type of life…..Baptism…is the discovering of God’s call to be united with Him and to live with Christ in Him. (Tadeusz Dajczer, The Gift of Faith, 3^rd ed. (Ft. Collins, CO:  IAMF, 2012), 170.

When I read this passage over the last week or so, I was struck by two things: (1) We were celebrating the Baptism of Jesus Himself just this past Sunday, and (2) I just had gum tissue graft surgery last Friday, and am still in recovery.  God certainly had my attention!  So, as I sat and reflected, I asked God, “What are you trying to tell me in this?”

I had been postponing my consultation with the periodontist for some time.  My dentist had been keeping an eye on my receding gums for nearly 20 years, but now it was finally time to get them reinforced.  I awaited the day of surgery with absolute dread.  Not exactly my first pick in how to spend a small fortune. But alas, the date had been scheduled and I begged prayers of family and friends.  They did not disappoint!  I was pleasantly surprised that my body was not shaking from the usual nerves I experience when waiting in a dental reclining chair.  I was absolutely certain that grace was flooding me, as I waited in shock for an anxiety that never came.   

For this Control Freak, I am often overly consumed by ideas of pain, discomfort, or the unknown.  I am more worried about what I am going to lose, or what trials I have to face, rather than freedom I will gain, joy I will experience, or new life I can embrace. But the very definition of “graft” is “a piece of living tissue that is transplanted surgically” (www.oxforddictionaries.com). I think what I forget about is grace.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church, in paragraph 1996 explains that “Grace is favor, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to become children of God, adoptive sons, partakers of the divine nature and of eternal life.”  “The graces of Baptism are given to us for a lifetime.  Nevertheless, we often squander them by submitting to evil.  However, if we desire to progress toward sanctity, then by going through various stages of purification, we can once again reach this particular state of immaculateness that we have wasted by being unfaithful to the graces of Baptism.”  (Ibid. 171).

Regarding the surgery, I was afraid of the pain, the discomfort, the price. I had forgotten about grace.  But because God loves me as I am, He supplied the grace anyway!  I experienced God’s mercy in that chair, and I believe He is calling me once again to remember the grace of my Baptism…to ask for the graces so readily available each moment to choose Him, to choose to respond to His love, to love His will.

But in order to ask for the graces, I need to desire them!  How blessed I am that God revealed something else to me.  After the surgery, I was to refrain from brushing near the surgical site for a time.  The wound was covered by a common dental dressing, which gradually falls off as the tissue regenerates.  Let me just say that even under normal circumstances, the mouth is not often a pleasant place regarding fragrance.  Add to that the odors of surgery, and from time to time I panicked as to how I was going to wait two weeks for the sutures to be removed.  I felt an overwhelming desire for cleanliness and healing.  I became very aware of my physical stench, but am wondering about the stench of my soul.  I wonder why I am not as consumed with the healing of my soul, for desire for cleansing, for desire for eternal life.  Just as two weeks seemed interminable, and yet so desired, how do I look at eternal life?  Am I using this time on earth to be purified and detached from everything but God alone?   “Progress in our interior life depends on an ever stronger desire to actualize the graces of Baptism – graces of being molded into the image of Christ….Baptism is a mission for us that will not be completely fulfilled until the moment of our union with Christ.  Then we will be able to repeat the words of St. Paul: “Yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me” (Gal 2:20). (Ibid. 171-172)

I guess when all is said and done, I see the purpose of my life as communion with Christ - of becoming aware of my weaknesses with a sense of gratitude so that I can see my need for God, and discover the abyss of His merciful Love.  I thank my parents and godparents and Christ Himself for the gift of my Baptism, initially a gift given almost 40 years ago, but also, and most importantly, a continuous gift for each and every day.  I thank Him for so graciously grafting His life into mine.  And I thank Him for knowing my needs so well that He introduced me to His mother. I beg her to remind me to return to the vast supply of graces provided at the moment of my Baptism, so that I can remain in Him. 

  

Entrustment to Mary = Loving, Teaching and Forgiving

It was 3 pm, the hour of mercy, when the Little One requested me to read her a story.  I knew the risk. I inevitably have to nap after reading in the late afternoon. This particular day I decided to sit in a chair to increase my odds of staying awake. Well, I got through half the book before I was nodding off. She noticed. She said it would be okay to finish at bedtime. I thanked her and told her I had to rest for a little bit. She cheerfully said okay and started heading downstairs when I yelled out after her “Remember, don’t play on the Kindle!” (She had played, watched and read on it her allotted time already earlier in the day.) She looked back at me and said “I won’t.”

It wasn’t as restful of a sleep as I hoped for. It was too quiet. How come the Little One wasn’t doing her usual singing or monologue while playing with dolls? Hmm? After 10 or so minutes I decided to head down to take a look, and found the Little One on the couch with…you guessed it…the Kindle!  It was slammed shut at the first sight of me and she went running away. What could I do? I told her that since she did something I didn’t want her to do that she would now have to do something I wanted her to do – which was to help me empty the dishwasher and fold her laundry.

“No!” she said. Wow. That seemed bold. I didn’t take kindly to this response. With a huge pout on her face she began heading to her room to escape the atonement.  I took the bait and got into the power-struggle. I threw out the worst threat –the COUNTDOWN. “If you don’t get to my side to help me with this dishwasher by the count of 10, then you will not be having dessert for the next 5 days!” (Yes, I really escalated that quickly.) She shouted “NO! Don’t count!” paralyzed on the stairs in disbelief that she would be forced to such a choice. She did not make it…she did not choose to help me. I started clearing the counters and cupboards of all accessible candy (Christmas had extremely multiplied the quantities of sweets in our house). The Little One escaped to her room in tears.

Calmed down, I said a prayer entrusting us both to Blessed Mother, then I went in for a visit. I asked the Little One, “Do you know why I was upset? Do you think it was because you used the Kindle?” She shook her head “no.” “Was I upset because you didn’t want to help me?” She shook her head “yes.” Then she rushed into my arms.  I hugged the Little One tight. I know that hug was a twofold Christmas miracle – Blessed Mother using my arms to love a child She helped to be contrite.

A mentor a long time ago shared that there is no recipe to raising children, but we can follow three points:  1) love them, 2) teach them, and 3) forgive them.

I am so grateful for this experience with the Little One. There have been so many lessons for her: She can make bad choices (we are in day 2 and she’s had 4 melt downs for not being able to eat sweets); she wants to be the leader (a role her mom and dad were entrusted with, not her); she lacks trust in her mom (pride takes root so young); and she has a crucial need for hugs!

There are so many lessons for me:  How often do I tell my LORD “I firmly intend with the help of your grace to sin no more,” and then leave the confessional to do just that – sin more?; I have a huge fear of losing control, which means I totally lack trust in God’s mercy; and, the most important lesson of all, I need to be in Blessed Mother’s arms constantly when I parent!

It was a good day to discover truth.

In an unusual way, the parable of the prodigal son depicts the depth of the twofold truth about God and man. This parable says that God loves you in and with the actual truth about you. He loves you as you are and not as you should be. He loves you with all of your muck, filth, grime, and even wretchedness. In turn, you have to abolish the pedestal of your pride in order to stand in the naked and acknowledged truth before Him – the truth that, in this state of being closed, you are incapable of loving Him, and the truth that you should constantly receive this freely-given love until a complete change is brought about in you. Thus you must stand in the truth – the naked truth. (S.C. Biela, The Two Pillars, [Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2006], 35.)

Entrustment to Mary = Giving Spiritual Gifts

We are sending this blog post again as the address for the In the Arms of Mary Foundation was incorrect. The below address is the correct one to use. Sorry for any inconvenience this mistake may have caused.
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Tis the season to give presents! I usually pick a tag from the local TREE of JOY to give a Christmas present to a person in need. This year the material gifts asked for on the tags somehow discouraged me from choosing one. Yet, I felt a need to offer alms somewhere this Advent/Christmas season. Then a request came across my email that was an answer to my dilemma.  It is one asking for spiritual books to be donated to priests and seminarians in Uganda. The priest making the request recognizes how these books can touch the interior lives of those who read them - in order to grow in holiness and to strengthen one's faith. A priest who desires to grow in holiness and faith on his journey to heaven is always beneficial for the souls of the lay people who come to that priest for personal guidance. Here is part of the priest's request:
"I have a feeling that if these books have helped the Laity, then it would even be very good for the Priests and Seminarians as well. Kampala Archdiocese has 317 Priests and 216 Seminarians. In addition there are 19 Diocese in the country where those books would be appreciated…I trust if these books are published and given to Priests as well as Seminarians, they will make a very big difference in their spiritual growth."
It brought me joy knowing my donation would not only be for the priests and seminarians who will read these books, but for the blessings that will be bestowed upon those who will come in contact with these men. It would be giving a gift that would have a spiritual and even eternal benefit! This opportunity brought peace to my soul.

I have read the 2 books the priest is requesting: Behold I Stand at the Door and Knock, and Open Wide the Door to Christ, both authored by S.C. Biela.  I will include a description of each at the bottom of this blog posting. These books have helped me come to understand how necessary it is to become poor in spirit in order to enter the Kingdom of God. I have learned that I must stand in the truth of “who” I am and admit this to Christ accepting His mercy and unconditional love as I do so. They are books that address everyday circumstances with a spiritual spin, helping me see how to open my heart to my faith, the Sacraments, God’s will, and my entrustment to the Blessed Mother. They are written in a way that speaks to every reading level.

What also is attractive about this request is the affordability of the donation. Just $10 buys one book including the shipment to Uganda. If this sounds good to you too, you can mail your donation to:                                               

In the Arms of Mary Foundation

P.O. Box 271987

Fort Collins, CO 80527
Inquiry@inthearmsofmary.org

Or click on this link to Uganda Book Fundraising project. This will bring you to the In the Arms of Mary Foundation website to make your donation there. Please let the Foundation know that the donation goes for the Uganda Book Fundraising project.

The Foundation desires to fulfill the request of this priest with the help of others. It has begun by sending him a box of 24 copies of Behold I Stand at the Door and Knock. They will continue to ship books for Priests and Seminarians as long as there are funds available. I invite you to share this news with your family, friends, and cyberface acquaintances as well.

May all of our readers have a very Merry Christmas knowing God loves us as we are!

 BEHOLD I STAND AT THE DOOR AND KNOCK

“Behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, then I will enter his house and dine with him and he with me” (Rev 3:20).

This book leads the reader to discover the constant loving and merciful Presence of God. God never leaves His beloved children alone. He is always at the door of our hearts knocking, awaiting our opening of ourselves to Him. Discover the different ways God knocks, why we hesitate to open the door of our heart, and what treasure lies ready for when we do open the door to our creator. S.C. Biela, (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005)

OPEN WIDE THE DOOR TO CHRIST

Continuing the themes presented in Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock, Biela helps to convince the reader of the treasure that awaits when we finally open wide the doors to our Creator. He reminds us of the key: spiritual poverty. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Mt 5:3). But how to become poor in spirit? That is exactly what this book addresses. A must read for all who desire transforming union with Christ. S.C. Biela, (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005)

Entrustment to Mary = A Joyful Home

Over the weekend, my son was invited to enjoy the afternoon and spend the night with his cousin.  When he returned the next day, he shared about all the fun activities and yummy food that they enjoyed, and I was happy he had a good time with his relatives. That is, until he hinted that he would prefer living at their house, with them, over our home, and us.  Ouch.  Now, before you might think badly of my son, know that his Control Freak of a mother encouraged him to be open with his feelings.  I knew as I was asking him that I was also asking for trouble, and for a quick wounding of my ego.  Sure enough, even though I understood what he was saying and why he was saying it, I wanted to rescue my pride.  I wanted to (and did, to some degree) rationalize to myself and to him why their home environment might appear to be better, but that the grass wasn’t necessarily greener. 

The truth, though, was that I had been praying for more peace and joy in our home for a long while.  The noise and chaos drives me crazy, and because I am so darn responsible, all the activities and school projects stress me out.  I am so overwhelmed that my temper is short and often times I unfairly lash out at my son.  OR hold too high of expectations.  OR micro-manage his schoolwork.  OR nag him about how inefficiently he does his chores.  Of course he enjoyed the laid back personalities of his aunt and uncle!  Yes, I can rationalize to myself that they might have been trying their best to make sure he enjoyed himself, but perhaps not.  Perhaps they are like that all the time.  It doesn’t really matter, because if I stand in truth, I know God is asking me to allow more of HIM and His joy in our home.  I must beg Blessed Mother, Queen of Peace, to reign in our home. 

Now, in my mind I want to be strong and organized, while remaining gentle and loving and present to my loved ones.  But according to my track record and my awareness of my personality, this doesn’t work.  I am always so tempted to rely on my own strength (which is non-existent) rather than allow the One to live in me and through me.

So as we celebrate this third Sunday of Advent, I am reminded of the pink candle – JOY!

    Christian faith most fully expresses itself in the joy of discovering the personal love of God, which you can depend on and to which you can entrust yourself.  Faith experienced in this way eradicates the attitude of the dramatic fatalism toward one’s own evil, which our contrition can change into a “happy fault.”  Christian joy flowing from faith is like a stream of God’s love.  It is faith that tells you to smile at God, to be joyful in His love.  Then you should look at yourself, whom you take much too seriously, from a certain distance and with a humorous perspective.  The virtue of humor lets you defeat the poison of sadness with which Satan tries to permeate your soul.  This virtue of humor causes you to stop worrying about yourself and allows you to live a life of joy flowing from faith. (Tadeusz Dajzcer, The Gift of Faith, 3rd ed. (Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2012), 99-100).

So if I read that right, I can ask Blessed Mother to be contrite with me and for me, and allow her to rescue me from my sadness over my temper with my children.  I will not be a perfect mother, but I can bless my children by being a channel of grace and of the pure love of their Heavenly Mother by allowing her to carry me.  I can trust that God, in His infinite wisdom, has paired my soul with the particular souls of each of my children for our greatest good.  Yes, this is reason for joy.  The fact that I am being reminded over and over how very much God loves me as I am is cause for great joy.  So I am grateful for the conversation with my son, as it allowed me to stand in truth and be reminded of how very much I need God.  I am reminded that I must fall to my knees with empty hands and simply ask for the grace to respond to His Love (in the arms of Our mother, of course!).  

Entrustment to Mary = Celebrating the Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary

I have encountered different people who struggle building a relationship with the Blessed Mother. Usually their road block is the fact that Mary was conceived without original sin.  They’ve said to me “of course She could say ‘yes’ to God,” or “She can’t possibly understand me, I'm attached to sin” or “at least the other saints had to get over their sinful nature, thus I can possibly follow their lead, but Mary? How can I compete with that?”

Well, by the grace of God, I don’t see it that way. I find the news of Mary’s Immaculate Conception all the sweeter for me! When I go to Mary I am going to someone who has the “power” (She is FULL of grace) and the “humility” (She cooperated with grace) and therefore, She will care for me in the best way possible. If our LORD saw fit to put Himself into Her arms, then wouldn't it be just crazy foolishness for me to think that isn’t good enough for me?

Awaiting Christ this Advent – and doing it by staying in MOM’s arms.

“Freedom is something extraordinary and it takes on its proper meaning only in the posture that Mary assumed during the Annunciation. She was fully free, and yet with Her entire life She wanted to fulfill God’s will – She wanted to become the handmaid of the Lord.”  (S.C. Biela, Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock [Ft. Collins, CO: IAMF, 2005], 53.)

“The call to childlike trust is always leading us to imitate Mary. Our Heavenly Father wants us to imitate the way Mary lowered Herself before Him, especially the way that She continually maintained the posture of servant and slave.²⁰ Mary assumes this posture because She knows that Her humility and childlike manner lead Her to abandon Herself to God’s love – a love that is constantly knocking on the door of the human heart.” (Ibid. 90.)

Toward Gratitude: The List that Never Ends....

With it being Thanksgiving, which for some turns into Black Friday, which for some turns into hectic travel, which for some turns into anxiety and fear of falling behind, we decided to give you a quote from one of S.C. Biela's most beautiful books The Two Pillars.  This book guides the reader toward contrition and gratitude. There is still time for us to stop and remember that we are utterly and completely immersed in LOVE!

“It is necessary to open our eyes and our hearts widely, to look at our lives as far back as we can remember – to childhood – and try to see how much good, love, care, and forgiveness is in everything that the Loving Presence gives us. The gift contains the interior call to respond to it. The gift demands gratitude.

What if we overheard a prayer lifted up to the Blessed Mother by a young American student who calls herself tiny (crumb)? This prayer is so simple, yet simultaneously astonishing, in the way it shows how she perceives God’s gifts in the areas of life where God’s bestowals are corroded by routine and, therefore, normally illegible for us. Perhaps our lack of discretion will be forgiven us if, because of it, we begin to discover bestowals whose dimensions can reach the size of a continent – a continent of bestowals.

Dearest Mommy,

Thank You for everything:

For sitting with me on the subway as we returned from school.

For brushing my teeth with me.

For cleaning with me.

For giving me the grace of loneliness, so that I can better understand how You love me so much.

For my entire past and for everything that has led me to this moment of grace, thanks to which I constantly remember about Your loving presence.

For allowing my pride and my illusions to crush me to the point of depression, such that now I can understand and desire Your love and truth.

For Your constant friendship, even when I still didn’t know where You were.

For the fact that I do not have to try to achieve anything in the eyes of this world.

I thank You for the fact that I am constantly rejected by others, so that only You can be the Queen of my heart.

For laughing with me when I stumble and fall on this way because of my weaknesses.

For crying with me when I helplessly tried to understand, instead of simply entrusting myself to Your love.

I thank You, Mommy, that I am not tall and that I cannot see a lot of things because of this.

For all of the girls in the dormitory who look at me and giggle because I do not drink or sleep with boys.

For gathering up all of the graces that I receive and for safeguarding them with Your care so that they are not wasted.

For preserving me from so many sins because You know that without You I am capable of doing the most heinous and evil things.

For everything, Mommy, I am grateful.

For the abyss of my spiritual misery and for the abyss of Your love that fills it.

For the tininess of my entire being and for Your greatness.

For being my only home and refuge.

For our communion of hearts.      

For simplicity.

For silence, but also, for noise.

For the ocean of mercy that is outpoured over the earth.

For taking me and carrying me in Your arms anew, even after I wound You and Your Son.

For loving me so much that You desire my sanctification.

For showing me that, on our path of life, everything is and always will be grace.

Mommy, I thank You that this list will never end…

Your beloved, little

tiny”   

(S.C. Biela, The Two Pillars, [Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2006], 71-73. Used with permission.)

Entrustment To Mary = Gratitude Diffuses Discouragement

Why is gratitude so important? St. Therese of the Child Jesus emphasizes that it is

gratitude that attracts God's grace the most. On the other hand, ingratitude, according to St. Augustine, is "the root of all spiritual evil, a windstorm that burns out and dries up every good." The desire to show gratitude to God should be born in us each time we notice how we have experienced His love. It is precisely this gratitude that will build in us an image of God that is close and closer to the truth. It will build in us the image of the One who is Love and who continually takes care of us. [1]

With Thanksgiving Day approaching, I thought a reflection on gratitude might be in order. I have learned through the spirituality of communion of life with Christ through the Blessed Mother that being grateful is the rescue for my discouragement and anxiety.

For example, after I was hired for my current job, I noticed in the newspaper an onslaught of new employment opportunities. I started to second guess my decision to accept my position which is less than part-time and came without benefits. I questioned myself, wondering if I should have held out for an appointment that would have been more hours and thus more income. Then I recalled how I had given God the credit for giving me the job as the interview had been scheduled for the mercy hour. I also remembered how grateful I was when I saw my work hours still allowed me to attend daily Mass three times a week. My anxiety released as I thanked God again for blessing me with my job. Also, God sees the bigger picture. At this workplace I have been able to take a week off to make a trip to celebrate my grandchild's 1st birthday. In my limited human way of thinking, I never would have guessed I could be leaving for a vacation so soon after being hired. Of course, I will not be paid for the time off, but God had everything fall into place so my duties would be covered. Again my heartfelt gratitude came pouring out for my Creator's merciful love.

But what about being grateful for what the world would perceive as negative events? I have been witnessing how ready I am to shout grateful praises when all is going my way, but lose the desire to do so when life takes a downhill turn. This is where my entrustment to Mary becomes my saving grace. When I cannot be thankful, or do not want to be grateful for so called "negatives" I remember I can turn it over to Blessed Mom and ask her to be my gratitude. Just the action of admitting my helplessness diffuses my discouragement or anger, for I know she is all powerful with God's grace and will help me through whatever adverse situation I am facing. Like just this week I had to ask her to help me remain appreciative for the 7+ years we have had a renter, even though when she moved out she left a mess, poorly painted walls, a cut doggy door, and took two weeks longer than a potential replacement renter could wait!

I also need her gratitude for my hearing disability which brings many humbling moments. It is hard for me to be grateful when I misconstrue what someone says, or I have to ask for a person to repeat themselves. If I truly believe God gives only the best gifts for my soul, I should be appreciative that my poor hearing brings purifications for my sanctification. Yet my stubborn pride keeps my "thank you" hidden under pursed lips. Fortunately, God knows best the burden of my nature, so He gave me his Mother to take care of me, and to make up for what I lack. She leads me to understand that it is easier to have gratitude when I am following God's will and not my own. She helps me remember that everything God bestows and desires is for my eternal happiness.

If you were grateful for all the graces you receive, then you would see God's presence and His intervention in your life much more clearly.[2]

[1] S.C. Biela, TheTwo Pillars, (Ft.Collins, CO: IAMF, 2006), 74.

[2] Ibid 85-86.